Normally Gay

Need Some Advice

2012-01-21T10:44:00.000-06:00

Not exactly sure what to do with this situation guys! it has to do with work...

Since I have been back at school, I have had my hours cut a little bit. Actually if it was a little bit i'd be ok with it I am getting cut about 10 hours per paycheck compared to last year. I am supposed to have four shifts a week but I am currently running on three. I also was supposed to get a quarter raise back before xmas break but with everything going on with the store having to close a branch our in Moorhead, i thought Id let it slide until now.

But last night I was hanging out with my coworker Cole, who is a really nice kid, and he told me that James, our manager, told him that I "wasn't his first choice". And as hurful as I could take that, I really don't give a shit because James is a late 30-something, overweight, thrice married loser who works at a head shop as a CAREER. So the last thing I am is offended by this person, the problem it presents to me is that he is not at all on my side of things and isnt a big fan of me, which might explain the cut in hours. How do I go about getting more hours in this situation? My paychecks are ok but with me trying to save up to go to Europe, I could really use more hours so I can have some overhead to stow away for then and right now my paychecks are all going to groceries, bills, and expenses like toilet paper and a new bed (which was a necessity, not a luxury haha).

Maybe i'll have to find some things of mine to sell to get a little extra cash as well. Idk, this isn't looking good for staying in Europe too much longer after my trip. I'm setting up my ticket extension here soon and I need to be aware of how much money I have because bumming around Europe, even if you are trying to do it for as cheap as possible, isn't cheap. Just gotta hope and pray at this point.

Cheers
Max

backtobacktoback

2012-01-18T15:40:00.000-06:00

Ok! I havent been good at posting, but ive been busy! Loans have been a bitch and they are just now getting figured out but I dont have any of my books! So school has been a little wonky this second week back. The cosign has gone through now I just have to wait for my school, oh joy of joys. I have been on a crazy Dr. Who kick lately and am just seeing the movies between the 10th and 11th doctors. My favorite by far is Matt Smith as the 11th doctor. He's a weird looking dude with some strange habits but still my kinda cute

dude. And he is also the source of my current bow tie trend. I need to adultize my wardrobe and by incorporating that one thing I have gotten a few nice shirts and a nice new pair of shoes, although I am still jonsing for a pair of nice leather boots. Doubt that will happen with my finances right now. I am going to pick up a text book I bought off of the schools equivalent of craigslist for 60 bucks here soon and need to bring a check (gotta remember that). I am also trying to get ahold of this guy who is offering a queen memory foam mattress and boxspring for 90 bucks, a god damn steal. I want to see it before I commit though because it is suspiciously cheap.

But alas I wasnt quite quick enough to the draw so someone is seeing it before me, I can only wait and pray they pass over it so I might get a chance to see it and make an offer. It would be so god damn nice to fit on my bed, i'm 6'5 and still sleeping on a single twin mattress which is crap to begin with. It is collapsing in the middle and I have been complaining to my parents since sophmore year about it but they don't really care, they say I can go get my own they already gave me the twin. I understand where they are coming from but with a bed this cheap we should have pounced on it sooner, the only reason I waited is because I dont have the full 90 bucks to spare with my book purchase and I was waiting on my parents to let me know if they would help and about a half hour before the other guy was supposed to go see it they txted me they would help with half but its too late to get in before he goes to see it. Here is to hoping and praying haha.

Beyond that not much else going on, im taking 12 credits this semester so I can work enough to save for my trip to Europe this may. I'm taking:
-cell bio
-micro bio
-Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra
-honors Gastronomy and french cooking
-honors the brain-teaching in our schools
-medical terminology
Not a heavy load but just a lot of classes so a lot of running around and lost of smaller readings and tasks instead of really big ones once in awhile. It'll keep me busy thats for sure! As soon as my loans come in and everything normalizes I can then apply to my transfer universities, so in the next couple weeks i'll be applying and in the next month and a half hearing if I make it into anywhere. Very Very nervous about this. I am hoping and praying I get out of this hell hole.

I hope everyone is well and having a good week!
Cheers
Max

First day

2012-01-10T19:55:00.000-06:00

First day back at classes. Didn't like it, but hey, just gotta get through this semester then i'm home free for a different university as long as I get into one :/ Application writing is on hold due to the fact that I need to get this semester paid for! I still have to pay back my fees from last semester before I can finish registering for classes, and I need my tuition total from the university in order to get that for the loans so this one little task is holding up the whole ship here. I am going to be talking to my dad shortly in order to pay off this debt and then get the ball rolling on loans, which is better in your guys's minds; Fixed or Variable interest? I found a bank that, with a cosign, I can get a very low interest rate, around 2-3 percent! So I just need to figure out how much and what interest I want to get.

My first class today was microbio which is going to be a cake walk as long as I keep up with the content, I still need to get my books so that will be difficult but I will find a way! My next class was my French Gastronomy class, an awesome julia childs fueld food adventure which I cannot wait to jump into. We had brie cheese and bread this afternoon along with some sweets and some bubbly! Well non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice, but you get the point lol. I also still owe a 95 dollar check to the company doing my trip, so this trip is costing about 3400 plus 200 for the school plus 95 to hold my spot plus 150 to extend my ticket out a few weeks. So what is that, 3850 before I factor in spending money for the rest of the trip and renewing my passport and a camera? So fuckin expensive, I hope I can make enough money to have enough to stay the last few weeks. Maybe I should scale it back to two weeks? Idk that would depress me not to get a good look at Europe since I'm already there. Maybe I could sell my TV, or autographed pictures of myself....hrm. Anyways. I'll figure something out, I always do!

Beyond that not a whole lot is new, got work right now and for the rest of the night, spose ill go do some homework and be a bum. Feel free to drop me some more questions, I still have a couple but not enough for a post so come at me boys, you know how honest ill be!

Cheers
Max

Maybe a new-new years resolution

2012-01-07T14:01:00.000-06:00

Well fo course i'm going to keep my work out goal, I want to get rid of this holiday blub and slim a bit. I know I would have to radically change my lifestyle to slim to th epoint I want and to be honest I really don't have the means to afford eating healthy enough, its going to be a lot of carbs and weird proteins like eggs and ground beef. I really want to eat far more produce but it is quite expensive here in grand forks so Its almost more of a treat to afford fruit than an essential food group. But I am working out more and eating better still so baby steps, right?

A new-new years goal i'm going to have is actually a little project AEK from who writes The Masks We Wearhas helped me research a little. I have had some discomfort in how tight the skin on my dick is, it can tear a little bit if I masturbate more than once in a day and really shouldnt have to be a concern, especially at my age. When I was circumcised they took a little too much off is the best way I can explain it. It doesnt hurt to get an erection or even fool around but if I jerk off for too long it can get raw and uncomfortable. So I am going to try stretching and regrowing my foreskin through the use of medical tape. AEK has found me some stupendous self help sites which show the whole process, which can take upwards of 6 YEARS to finish depending on how quckly your body grows new cells in response to the stretching. As a younger man I don't think it'll take me that long but considering my situation perhaps it will take a little longer than the average guy. I just need the slack in order to keep from having microtears and discomfort. I don't know exactly when Ill be starting just because I need to figure out the logistics of how to tape, how to pee if taped, and other social things like that. Hopefully it works :D

Besides that not a whole lot going on, finally got paid so I can pay my student fees and get my last classes enrolled in, then get my loan totals and start shopping for loans. It sucks but hey, school is school. My parents will be pleased when all they have to do is cosign a loan and but my books which shouldnt be too bad this semester. It will be a busy semester though. Speakupp is going to be rolling again soon, I am taking only 13 credits but also working closely with our ten percent society on our upcoming second annual North Dakota Out conference held here at UND. That plus working and planning for about a month in Europe, oofda I need a break already! Now, only to find a boy to share it all with :/

Hope you all had a great friday night and have plans for tonight :D
Cheers
Max

Mild Changes

2012-01-06T16:39:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone, havent done a spectacular job of posting or even posting well so I'm hoping to recap and get everything up to speed in this post. So i'm assuming its going to be a long one, my bad :/

Break was great, I got home just in time for xmas but not with enough time in order to get gifts, so I am doing some late shopping for my siblings now. They understand, and there are great sales so I'm not too worried about it. But it does have to be fit in with a laundry list of other things I have to do :/ First and foremost I need to pay off my student fees from last semester, which consist mostly of parking tickets :/ I was really unhappy with UND and got in one of those "Fuck You" moods where I would park where ever I damn well pleased. I got away with A LOT but definitely got a few tickets...actually about 140 bucks worth. Was it worth it? Kind of.

But since those fees are on my account I cant enroll in my last couple of classes, and with them starting next tuesday, i better get my ass in gear. Once last semesters fees are dealt with, and im all enrolled, I then have to move on to this semesters. This is my first time getting a loan not from the government and I have no idea how to shop for one, obviously low interest is the goal but I also have to keep in mind my credit (no idea what kind of credit I have) and repayment rules. All my loans up until now have been through my school and I dont have to repay anything until 6 months after school has finished. I kind of wanna keep that. But with my trip, this semester is going to cost around 7200 bucks. I knew the trip wasnt going to be cheap but whoa! with financial aide I think I will still owe about 3700 bucks, but my loan allotment per semester in the private sector is around 5200 so I will probably take 4700-5000 that way I can get the camera I need and will have some travel money when I do get over there and am on my own. I also will be saving up a bunch up this semester while I work. I'm going to be broke all the time but it will be so worth it :) Plus my bike settlement when it is done, will pay back a good portion of this private loan, so all in all this trip will be expensive but manageable. I'm very excited, can't wait to get more research done on where I should go and when I can finally do some budgeting to see how much spending money (if any) I will have.

Once all my loan things are taken of and school is "Paid" for, I will then be able to begin applying to my transfer schools. I had an alright semester, 3.44 term Gpa, but with an overall cumulative gpa pf 2.855, a net gain of .1 from last semester, I am still nervous about being able to get into my transfer schools of choice. I want to go to the University of Minnesota Twin cities because all my friends and family live there and I would be most comfortable, it is also the midrange tuition cost university on my list. The others I am applying to are madison, eau claire, and Duluth. I have looked at private schools, especially since I am only going to be in a transfer university for 1-1.5 years depending on credit transfers. I am glad I have been doing some extracurriculars, that way I can beef up my resume and hope to god the U of M will take me, I want to be able to go home so badly, and life would be a bit cheaper.

I had all of this looming over my head over break and couldnt really do much about it from home, which is frustrating so getting up here early has kind of been a blessing. Also I needed to give my parents a little space, over break I CAME OUT TO THEM. Yup, pretty unplanned but very very VERY relieving. My mom straight up asked me and I said "Yup!" and then showed her a watch I got online the night before. We talked about it a couple times after that, shes open to the idea but not 100% with it yet, they are going to need an adjustment period at every little stage (me bringing home a boy for xmas eventually may be a bit for them to swallow...) but hey, progress!! They now know and I dont have to hide the shit out of myself now, actually I dont have to hide at all, its liberating, I feel a great weight coming off of my chest and its letting me use that energy towards other things, like speakupp. I am going to be applying to some grants and scholarships so hopefully I can find funding for the equipment and get this ball rolling again. I liked having something besides my future and my school to focus on, and it kept me busy as well. I probably wont be able to get anything really rolling until I am back in the cities in terms of recordings, but that is ok because my most dedicated partners in this project are back there, and to be honest I think there are a few more gays down there so more people to get to participate in the project.

But once all my applications, loans, and payments are done i'll be back to my normal grind. Back to studying my ass off and getting mediocre grades, enjoying life as best I can, and trying to be a normal old gay.

Ok gay moment of the day, I have bow ties now, and beefed the hell out of my wardrobe while I was in the cities. Hit hella sales and am very happy with my new more adult/non casual wardrobe. Now I just need a boy on my arm and the set is all complete :) oh and boots...and high tops...god it never ends

Anyways, Cheers! And I hope everyone is having a great week and is ready for a bomb weekend :D

Max

Back to school

2012-01-02T02:49:00.001-06:00

Back to school tomorrow! But here are some answers to some more good questions :)

1. Regarding #2 in this post, does your dick get more sensitive right after you cum? You had mentioned before that it's not that sensitive, but you say it's more sensitive here.

It is more sensitive after I cum for sure, but not till after, before its not all that sensitive.

2. Any new year's resolutions? If so, what're they?

Work out three + times a week! Trim down so I can get some nice clothes for good!!

3. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?

Whale! The live a long time and see a lot of the world :)

4. If you could fluently learn 5 foreign languages, what would they be?

-Italian
-Mandarin Chinese
-Spanish
-French
-German

5. What 5 questions would you ask me to start of 2012? :-P

-What is you favorite trait about yourself? It can be physical or character-wise
-Describe your perfect man
-Last song you listened to
-Favorite thing which is green
-Would you ever participate in an orgy?

6. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life (nutrition aside), what would it be?

Steak? Yeah, steak.

7. What are your top 5 destinations that you want to (re)visit in the world?

Lizpeg, Grave of mozart
Italy/Rome
Vienna austria
Xian, China
New Delhi India

Please answer any of these questions below or feel free to leave more questions in the comment area or through formspring.

Cheers!
Max

Happy new year

2012-01-01T14:32:00.000-06:00

Happy new year all!! Thanks for sticking around another year!! I think im going to reinvent this blog a little bit because I have made some significant strides in the past year and a new angle, or maybe just a new look is in order :) Debating if I want to start completely new or not but im not going to be doing this until either later today or next week at work. I have to drive home early tomorrow so I can get home in time for work so we can do inventory :( frackin blows but the money is good :/

had a good bow-tie-y night and all in all had a bomb time. only wish I had a boy to share with it all :) But hey, maybe this year right? Hope you all had good SAFE fun ;)

Here are some questions to finish out last year, questions always welcomed :D

Other than being tall, what other 5 physical aspects of a guy do you find sexy/prefer?

I love:
-A little scruff on a strong jaw bone
-good hair
-glasses are hot but not required
-have to know how to dress, im not just gonna date my bf we're gonna be a POWER COUPLE *cue thunder and lightning lol
-Not gonna lie, a big package would not hurt at all, again not a requirement but it is what I find attractive lol

What do you usually sleep in (that is, with a T-shirt, in boxers, in pjs, in the nude)?

Usually I sleep in boxers and thats it, but if I jerk off before bed I always love sleeping nude, your dick is just more sensitive so since I sleep on my stomach is feels really good haha TMI? Never.

Do you use lube when you wank? If so, what kind? If not, why not?

I do not, I "dry-dog-it". But I have been running into "issues" with that since when I was circumcised they took a lil too much, so getting an erection for me pulls the skin more tightly than an uncircumcised penis. So perhaps i'll have to try out lube, it should help.

If you could change 5 things (physically) about yourself, what would they be and why?

I would change:
-My metabolism. I know im overweight because of what I eat and my physical fitness regiment but a stronger and more robust metabolism would help in burning off some body fat.
_ I honestly wish I was uncircumcised, it would feel better I imagine, plus in my case it would be extra nice...
-I wish I had a butt. I dont have one and it bothers me :(
-I wish I had a bigger dick, I mean I'm happy with what I got but a solid 7.5-8 in cock would be awesome.
-Wish I was just a hair shorter, then finding clothes without having to tailor all of them would be much easier haha

If you could change 5 things (non-physical) about yourself, what would they be and why?

I would change:
-My need to prove my father wrong, I just need to grow up.
-I would work harder and not try and skate by, even though I seem to be doing pretty well at it, which reinforces that terrible habit.
-I would stop procrastinating, kind of included in the previous but that especially.
-I would be even more adventurous and keep my academic curiosity as high as possible, i'm working on it but it is a process.
-Find a boy :)

Any more questions send them my way :)

Cheers and happy new year
Max

The Holiday Experience

2011-12-30T12:15:00.000-06:00

Well right off the bat, this has been an exceptionally weird break. I'm at home which is unusual because usually my dad and I are at eachothers neck by now. I think it may have something to do with me coming out to my mom. Yeah, you read right. It wasnt really planned, I was just sitting in her giant ass bed with her talking about the watch I wanted for xmas and she straight up just asked if I was gay, and at this point im so sick of hiding it I said yes. Shes been semi-cool with it thus far but its going to take time for both of us to process it all, and im sure my dad knows by association now but I dont care, im free. Im out. I can do what ever I want with whoever I want and it doesnt have to be hidden. I no longer have to lie about it. Its a phenomenal feeling :)

I was supposed to meet up with David while I was down here but he had to cancel :/ I wanna meet this boy bad but he hasnt been too responsive to meeting up, might toss that fish back soon...

Didnt get anything of any real note for xmas, an adventure time calendar, some suspenders, gift cards, and a whiskey decanter in the shape of a train (i friggin love trains). But with the little bit of money I got I got some new jeans, corduroy pants, a new shirt, and bow ties. Im so proud that I can now tie a bow tie, its awesome :D

So all in all a very eventful xmas! Im out with my bow ties, now! On to find a boy :)

Hope everybody's holidays went well! Still taking questions through formspring which I will answer only when a minimum of three have arrived. Happy new year all :)

Cheers
Max

Oh so NOW I have questions

2011-12-20T01:36:00.000-06:00

Hahaha well this blog has always been about honesty. Here we go...

Do you pre-cum much? Do you like it when other guys do or do you not care?

Do I? Not anymore than a normal person I think. I guess I did a lot last night since I was in a three some haha And I do like it when other guys too, to be honest it tastes good. But not a deal breaker by any means haha

What do you plan to do with your degree in genetics? Will you be pursuing a MS or PhD in it? Perhaps genetic counseling?

PhD is my current plan, the MD route is less research based and more diagnostic. More money but not where I want to go. Every time I learn a new genetic system I feel like I'm learning a little secret of the universe. Its enthralling and actually makes my heart beat faster. The most nerdy thing you have ever read, I know. But I want to keep unraveling this big ball about ourselves, learning more and finding ways to make ourselves better. I do feel this way of looking at things is going to be some sort of an end to us. This self discovery coupled with the tax we have on this planet may be out key to learning how to survive. More crazy stuff I know but I do love the perspective :)

What's the most number of times you've wanked in a single day?

I love it when people call it wanking :) 13. Yes you read right. To be honest there is a little story behind that too. This was in early high school when I was still exploring, and I got a chance to explore with a friend haha I feel like a lot of guys, not necessarily gay guys, have this experience of jerking with friends, or at least fooling around. I dared my friend J that we could do a wank off, who ever wanked the most, with proof (cha-ching haha). So we got at it, he made it to eight but I managed to get a hand on his man meat and jerk him off one more time. He came the most that time ;) I made it last for me 5 more times haha

Those are the questions so far, keep em coming boys!

Cheers
Max

I'm a dirty dirty whore. And i'm totally ok with it.

2011-12-19T13:54:00.005-06:00

So I did get two question from the last post:
Since you are a self proclaimed POWER BOTTOM ( my partner is as well, I love them!!) what is the biggest you have "ridden "?

Well, lets answer that with a story, its time for a GRINDHOUSE DOUBLE FEATURE: TWO SMUTTY STORIES OF MINE FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!!!

I have been chatting with this guy on manhunt for quite some time, Jay. He's a year older than me and has a cute face as far as his manhunt profile shows, and a BIG dick. Now i'm not going to lie, as a self proclaimed power bottom I have been trying to find my limits, what I can and cant handle. Unfortunately as far as manhunt goes up here about the biggest you can find is 8.5 and thick, which is exactly what this guy was. Here is the break down.

Got off work about 4 nights ago and we had been chattin throughout the day and finally agreed to fuck. To be honest since the lil virgin boy the other night I just needed to get fucked. I don't imagine many of you recognize the impulse but there is this ache or longing to just get laid, I know tops generally feel it in their balls but me as a bottom, its a combo of that ad your prostate. Anyways, he wanted to get together so I of course obliged. The awkward part was I was going to be hanging out with Ethan right after and wouldnt have time to shower so this couldnt be a messy romp. I got to Jays place (RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM ETHAN) and parked a ways away so Ethan wouldnt know I was bein a lil whore next door. I got over there and he opened the door with no lights on so when I cam into the pitch black apartment I couldnt see a thing, the only thing I could do was feel the warm hand on my butt and his lips on my neck as soon as my jacket was off. We made out in the entry way dfor a couple of minutes and next thing I know he pulls me away and guides me upstairs.

We get upstairs and the light flicks on and I get to see him in person for the first time. Hes a bit chubbier than his pic (they always are) but still a handsome guy, I could see his growing erection through his sport shorts which he was wearing like boxers. I couldnt help myself but had to get them off as soon as possible in order to see this cock he had talked to so highly of. And he was not embellishing, a semi hard about 6in cock flops out with giant low hanging balls, which is kinda hot to be honest. I started gobbing on him and before I knew it he was hard as a rock and I had trouble fitting much more then about the head and another inch of his cock in my mouth. We got into bed and stripped naked and I straddled him, teasing his dick with the crack of my wanting ass all the while playing with his nipples and teasing them with my teeth. Finally he leaned over and grabbed a condom out of the nightstand, I flipped onto my back and kind of mentally prepared for what was coming haha

Its the first inch of a cock that big that hurt, the rest is just getting used to it. I definitely winced when he tried just pushing it all in the first time, told him he had to go slow. But about 30 seconds later he had eased every inch in and it felt AMAZING. My god being streched and having so much stimulation like that made my knees week and me hard as a god damn rock. Unfortunately I have this little thing where if im sleeping with someone I can pretty much only cum when they shag me, I dont like the feeling of getting head that much and get stage freight trying to jerk off for them. So Jay here was pumping me full of his cock but had already j/o like 2-3 times that day which ment he was low on cum and easy to shoot. We shagged for maybe 2 minutes before he was cumming and I wasnt even close. He blew and I had to just deal with it, it felt great but didnt last nearly long enough haha.

So that was a few nights ago, definitely the biggest ive had but I want bigger, and more. God damn I sound like a whore...but alas it continues, Part two about last night next :D

I'm a dirty dirty whore. And i'm totally ok with it. Part II

2011-12-19T13:54:00.004-06:00

So last night was a random and very unexpected....threesome. Yeah, group sex. Never done it, dunno if I will again because it was barely group sex haha let me explain.

I had been chatting with a guy my height (big turn on) about hooking up for a couple days and he had just got in from the cities when I messaged him. He said he was back and although he had work early, might wanna hook up. I told him id be down and would be willing to provide rubbers if he wanted to do it. Well no sooner than I get home my buddy Ben messages me on manhunt (we are friends on fb but he im's me from there, no idea why)and I explain to him I might be hooking up with a guy. He whined that he hadnt gotten any action in six weeks and blah blah blah. Not really my problem. He asked who it was and we both kinda exchange notes on our hook ups and relationships so i gave him the dudes manhunt profile name. BAd idea. Before I knew it he was totally stealing my hook up!!! What a dick! He event old me he was chatting with him and that was why he stopped messageing me. Ben is the slim twink with a bigg-ish dick so I was outgunned there as the tall power bottom although I find myself far more attractive visually. Anyways, he then proposes the idea of group sex.

I know it has been one of Bens interests for awhile but I have never really thought about it, mostly because if there are two bottoms it just turns into a sword fight for the cock. But here I was the only bottom with two tops so I said I might be interested in his proposal. Ben asks the guy, we'll call him racer, and hes into it too. So before I know it Ben has his address and we are on our way over to go fuck this guy. It hit me really hard that me and someone I know half decently are going to have group sex with a random dude. I was turned on and disgusted at the same time, but fuck I wanted to get laid so I just let the carnal part of my brain take over. Ben picked me up and we drove over together, im not going to say it was the most awkward car drive of my life, but everything that was about to happen was starting to sink in. We go there and he buzzed us in and before we knew it we were in his entry way taking off our jackets. Of course he was a lil chubbier than his pic (EVERY TIME!!!) but he was still cute and taaaaall, Ben was about 6 inches shorter than both of us. To be honest, nobody knew how to start this shindig so i just started making out with him there and massagin his balls. Did that until he was good and hard then we moved into the living room.

For the first bit I was on my knees giving them both great head (they both said I have a gift) while the made out, we moved around between Ben sitting, racer sitting, and me giving head the WHOLE TIME. Ben was actually close to busting a couple times and had to push me off lol then, when everybody was god and horned, we moved to the bedroom. I was the condom bearer and the bottom so I just tossed them on the bed to see who would take the initiative to fuck me first. Of course ben grabbed them right away and this is where it goes from less of a threesome to a hook up between me and Ben lol He put on the condom and i payed with his balls while he made out with racer, I was kinda hoping racer would take the initiative and start topping me so he could be sandwiched between me and ben but he just sat there and watched for so long I said "Fuck It" and just straddled Ben and puhed him inside of me.

Ben is a good 7-7.5 and normal thickness so definitely something I could work with. I wanted to take control and just grind the shit out of him but he kept trying to grind and we would end up grinding the same way, essentially doing nothing so after about 10 minutes of that I pulled off and let him fuck me doggy. Now racer has just been watching and stroking this whole time, he finally dangles his precum soaked cock in fron of me and I gob on it as Ben penetrates me again, it feels so much better now that I have my back arched and ass up. I nob on racer for a couple minutes but Bens start going really deep and pushing in as far as he can until i can feel his balls on mine and I couldnt blow racer anymore, I was getting close. Ben would then speed up and pull almost all the way to the head of his cock and then drive deep and I would shudder in pleasure, Ben might be one of the best fucks ive ever had. He did that for a few minutes and I had to blow, I couldnt keep it in anymore. I leaned up and shot a huge load all over racers pillows and headboard, apologizing for the mess but watching his face in shock as I pumped out about four or five big squirts or cum,

At this point Ben had been fucking me for about 20 -25 minutes so he should have been pretty close. I went to the bathroom and quickly cleaned up. When I came back the two of them were just standing there waiting for me. I felt like their sexual mother, just guiding them around like somehow I was the dom top. Wtf. anyways, Ben was next on my list to get to shoot because he is a self proclaimed squirt gun, he shoots a lot he says. I must have given the best head of my life because I was going to town on that cock. I played with the ball, teased his ass, all the right things but he still lasted about TEN FUCKING MINUTES. He finally laid down on the bed and I blew him and he would buck, shooting his cock all the way down my throat gagging me a little. He didnt give any warning and blew a giant load in my throat, I only knew he was cumming when I felt his balls contract for the second time shooting a thick load onto my tongue, he had already coated my throat. He finished and I went to the bathroom to spit and clean up for the second time.

And then there was racer, who had been watching this all pumping his 6 in cock the whole time. I came back from the bathroom and just threw him down on the bed and began blowing him with all the intensity and ferver I had with Ben. At this point my lips hurt like hell but I go to town anyways, he had the perfect size cock for me to deepthroat as well. It only took about 5 minutes and he was bucking too, I had learned my lesson the first time and just played with the frenum with my tongue while playign with his balls and jerking him off. He blew an equally large load all over my face and because of my beard right now it all stuck right where it hit. When he finally stopped cumming and I got to go clean up for the THIRD time, the cum beard I had made me pop a woody right away, I almost jerked off again, but saved it for when I got home ;)

So that was my ridiculous night last night. Shit isnt weird between me and Ben, I got two super hot facials, and now im a slut. A dirty dirty slut. And totally ok with it.

Any more questions? :)

Cheers
Max

200th Post!!!

2011-12-17T12:34:00.001-06:00

Wow this came fast! I feel like My 100th post wasnt all that long ago! Although I have been trying to be better about posting, guess its paying off :) I have been wracking my brain trying to think of something fun I could do, and I think I just thought of something :) Speakupp podcasts are based off of a Q & A type style. SO i'm going to run through about a dozen of my questions, maybe more and I will be going in order of what I have written down so you guys know im not skippng the good ones ;) Also feel free to leave any and all questions you have, I will answer ANY questions today with 100% honesty, but on this post only :) DOn't get me wrong, im honest all the time, I just sometimes with hold small things which I dont feel anyone needs to know haha. But today, I'm an open(er) book :)

What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was REALLY little I wanted to be a Train engineer, drive the hell outta that train haha. Into high school I wanted to be a chef, i'm a good cook and made some awesome dishes with my friend Jerry, who to this day I have a deal with. If out college career paths poop on use, we are opening a restaurant. But my parents put the kibosh on that pretty quick :( So I went into college thinking either Doctor or Lawyer. While I had drifter from the MD track to genetics, I still contemplate law and going into that for my post undergrad. At this point i'm going to do what I want, I have spent enough time and money doing what other people wanted me to do. Now it's my turn.

How old were you when you figured out you were gay?
I knew when I was about 13 but didn't accept it until my senior year of High School.

What is your favorite TV show?
Probably a tie between House and Moder Family. Actually scratch that, Modern family hahaha

If you had one million dollars what would you do with it?
First, pay off all debt. Second, find my dream house in santa barbara. It's a small three bedroom single level with big kitchen and porch. Good schools for my kids and beautiful site for me and my husband to look at. Third, Fund Speakupp finally and get my baby off the ground. I know I should probably donate some to charity or soething but one mil isnt what it used to be and I want my family's future to be as comfortable as possible. I would probably set aside 80,000 for organizations like speakupp which just need start up money so what happened to me would never happen to them.

What is the hardest thing about being Gay?
In my opinion? it's going through the self discovery of Puberty TWICE. Some people barely make it through the first time, a second can be too much. Its hard to deal with a lot of the things associated with being gay, but that is in my opinion, the most difficult thing although I havent had much of a struggle with it myself.

What do you look for in a partner?
Oh jeez, my laundry list? ugh why am I answering this question. I prefer tall, thats my only physical requirement (although bonus points for business downstairs...) but most importantly its drive. Drive to stay curious about our world and keep learning, to meet new people, see new places. College or some sort of education is a must simply because I have so many things to talk about and I wanna have those in depth conversations that happen once in a blue moon when your drunk with a friend haha. And a cuddler, im a cuddle slut so they better be prepared for way too much hugging and handsi-ness

Favorite place in the world?
Well right now it my parents lake home in McGregor mn they rented when I was little. I would spend every summer there and just fish and relax, reflect upon anything and everything while catching fish and hanging with friends. I miss the stresslessness of there a lot.

Perfect Job?
I was really hoping speakupp would take off because then I would have my perfect job. Working with people to further a good cause, something I made and grew myself, traveling to meet people and expand speakupp, and just talking to people about some of the most intimate things in their lives and their memories. That would be a blast It would never get old. I feel like I would outgrow speakupp eventually, then I would like to move into radio or television like working with the crew of one girl five gays for MTV.

What is the best thing about being gay?
That we as gays are all so different but have one big thing in common. Heterosexual people obviously have the fact that they are hetero in common but they dont deal with the same issues of oppression and equal rights that we do. So I guess the solidarity amongst gays.

When you are on a porn site, what category boxes do you check?
Amateur, cumshot, hardcore (what?! I said im a power bottom lol), masturbation can be hot. Idk sometimes just see whats newest and what has good pictures, its all visual really anyways, right?

Durring sex I wont put _____ in my mouth
Fingers or toes. and poo. thats about all that come to mind lol

Would you ever be in an orgy?
A traditional one? Probably not :/ A bukkake? only if I get to be in the middle ;)

Describe how you bang in ONE word
Enduringly lol

Do you masturbate? If so how often?
Yes, Yes I do. And usually two times a day, sometimes more.

Have you ever been walked in on?
No, thank god. But I know people have listened without me knowing before. Super creepy.

Name a Green thing you love
Marijuana. or this polo I have. NO! Wait, smoking pot while WEARING my green polo. BOOM.

When was the last time you hurt someone?
When my dad and I were arguing because he though I was keeping secrets (which I am, im not out, but he cant force me out I need to do this at my own pace even if he already knows.) And I said he never gives me credit for how hard im working my ass off all the time. And for the first time in about 4 years he said "good job, im proud of you" but followed it up with some story about how he couldnt have done what im doing. I was so angry and bitter I said "Well thats not saying much". Its was very mean and so not in my character to say something like that, only he has the ability ot get under my skin that far and make me feel like im justified in saying things like that. I called him later to apologize I felt so horrible about it.

Favorite first date?
I havent had a good first date yet, I've only really ever been on two first dates and they both blew :( I wanna find a guy who will surprise me a lil. Add that to the list above haha

Sexy librarian vs sexy nurse ?
Sexy Librarian. For sure. Scrubs are hot dont get me wrong, but something about the librarian guy in a sweater just makes me melt lol Give me a doctor and thats a whole different case lol

Last song you listened to?
Avicii- Penguin, check it out!

Ok there is 20 questions, if you want any more answered ask away, I'll answer with 100% honesty. And a big thanks to everyone who has continued to read, this has been a very up and down blog but you guys have stuck through and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. Much love.

Cheers
Max

Finally an Explaination

2011-12-13T16:59:00.001-06:00

So I have been working on a good way to explain Speakupp's mission, and this is what I came up with. Please critique and follow up if you wish!

This isn’t just an Internet site; this is the digital human rights movement in action. Speakupp is a GLBTQ outreach site with the purpose of providing valuable advice and relationships with people who may not have that luxury where they live. This project is starting in the prairie plains of North Dakota, a hotbed for religious fervor and a reputation for low tolerance of ideas which challenge their accepted norms. We aim to show the region and the hiding masses of GLBTQ individuals that it is not all right to be oppressed to such a level. On May 22nd 1978, Harvey Milk initiated his tenure with a gay rights bill protecting homosexuals from discrimination within San Francisco. To this day nothing like that has ever passed in North Dakota legislature. I hope this puts into perspective the political climate here in Nd for GLBTQ people.

What this project provides is answers to questions, and the chance at a true online community where people of any color, sexual identity, gender, and religion can meet and listen to each other’s story. Being queer and coming to terms with it is comparable to going through puberty twice. The first time being a physical and morphological change from prepubescent to an adult, whereas the second time is learning the sexual ropes all over again, the societal expectations and pressures of finding someone you can love and share the rest of your life with. In the first round of puberty you are still in school and there is tremendous support not only by our schools but also the comfort of having everyone else around you going through the same thing. Don’t misunderstand me, it is not an easy time for any person, but there is strength in numbers. But sexual discovery can happen at any time, it depends on the person and on top of that if you are isolated, all alone and trying to figure out who you are while your heterosexual peers are moving on with their lives, finding life partners and settling down. We can only look on in jealousy as we try to find out who we truly are and what we want from our lives.

Our podcast and videos provide someone to talk with, the 20-25 minute podcast is conducted by me and is essentially a question and answer with discussion on every point. The questions range from “What’s your favorite Green thing?” to “Would you ever consider participating in an orgy?”. It takes a very confident and aware individual to answer questions like this candidly but what my hope is, is that when you alternate between slightly off and interesting questions and personal questions, that person doesn’t have time to refer to their premade script of what they are SUPPOSED to say according to their mask. Instead you catch them off guard and get to see a glimmer of what kind of person they truly are. These sparks of identity and honesty are the basis of any relationship and what I hope to show the world. We aren’t monsters, God does not hate us, and we are merely people just like you. These sparks are what makes the relationship between a contributor and the GLBTQ consumer possible, they will ingest these interesting facts and identify the trust put forward by the contributor and are willing to reinvest their trust by coming back, seeing how they are doing and what new experiences they have had, what they are willing to share with someone they have never seen.

This, however, is only our main goal. Another more overarching goal we hope to achieve is to educate and reform the image the GLBTQ community has in this nation. The image of our community has arisen primarily from mass media and the portrayal of being gay that has been set forward. Characters like Jack from “Will and Grace” and Kurt from “Glee”, although a huge leap to even be in mass media, portray a extremely small portion of the range of people whom identify as gay or queer. But unfortunately people think that these characters are based off some stereotypical truth and are remembered for when they judge the next gay guy who walks by. These people are the norm with which they compare every other homosexual they encounter. But this image issue doesn’t just affect how heterosexuals view homosexuals, but also how we view ourselves. Gays will start emulating things they see just as people emulate fashion, and this is not a good way to build character, you need to define yourself without the pressure of societal norms before you look on and judge others.

Another example of misidentification of the gay community is OUT! Magazine, a gay advocacy magazine targeted towards specifically Gay and Lesbian people but is read but everyone under the sexual rainbow. On the cover of this magazine is supposed to be a GLBTQ of importance, or at least you would think. Instead 9 times out of 10 it is a straight, white, shirtless man whom we are all familiar with in mass media. Ryan Reynolds, Matthew McConaughey, and Chord Overstreet are a few of the men who have been featured in this Gay magazine. But they are all straight. And white. And Guys!! This is a magazine which claims to advocate for the GLBTQ community and give a gay perspective on many faucets of culture as we know it. But again they give a very narrow field to vision, seen through the eyes of few to represent many. Speakupp is, I believe, one of the first resources for the GLBTQ community which represents as many facets of our community as possible while encouraging activism, open dialogue, and speaking up.

This project has huge potential to change the way people both inside and outside of the gay community view themselves as a whole. This project promises to reach out to rural GLBTQ, change the image we hold of our community, and attempt to integrate itself into the great nation as a whole instead of being the exclusive club which it appears to be to many today. You don’t need to be GLBT or Q in order to be part of the community, you simply have to support basic human rights and identify the injustices passed upon the community by the greater nation as a whole. Its true, it is getting better, but it could be a whole lot better already by simply speaking up.

Below are some links to Speakupp resources and its work thus far. The site is in construction and is always looking for more people to share their stories and perspectives with us:

Facebook group with most of our contributors added:
http://www.facebook.com/groups/320975667929155/

Speakupp Blog to help recruit and spread or message:
http://theofficialspeakupp.blogspot.com/

Little Guilt

2011-12-13T01:50:00.000-06:00

So I have finally used grindr for what its supposed to be used for, rare I know. The kid is in my major so he knows all about genetics and bio and stuff like that, hes in my year and a total cutey, and as it tuns out pretty good in the sack. But what I feel guilty about it the fact that he was a VIRGIN. He didnt tell me until after and I gelt guilty about it because had I known I would have made it a lil more special, but he was so good I would have never known. It was a good night haha

He had been hitting me up on grindr for about a week now so we now roughly who eachother was. He is shy and reserved so when he offered to come over tonight I was caught a little off gaurd but took it as a good sign and had him over. We decided to watch grindhouse death proof and didnt make it too far into the movie before we started making out. My only tip this kid was inexperienced was the way he kissed. God awful. For some reason people can learn how to give amazing head from watching pronos but cant learn kissing. He pecked a lot, kissed really fast, and apparently wasnt a fan of tongue. But beyond that, no complaint, he was very good.

I of course went down on him first haha but he gave dome like a champ, some of the best i've ever gotten. And for the first time in my life I flip fucked. Where someone starts topping but ends bottoming (me) and vice a versa. I havent topped since my first time because usually people cant handle me but after I fingered him a lil he opened up just fine and took it like a champ. Even my ex had trouble and never really let me top. We tried a few diff positions and then I let him fuck me, and he was freaking great. Really got me going, wishing i was on top again. I blew a load like I havent in a long time, it got in my hair lol and as soon as he saw that he jumped on his back and started jerking off while i played with his balls and soon I could feel them contract as he shot FIVE huge jets onto his chest, I had run and grab a towel because it was threatening to run off his chest and onto the bed. I kinda wish I had gulped it all down but considering I need to be tested and havent been since the last guy I would curb my enthusiasm.

After we had both finished we cleaned up a little and cuddled and watched the whole rest of the movie with him snuggled on my chest, occasionally looking up and giving me a few more quick pecks before watching the movie again. It was all in all a good night. Hope you guys dont mind reading a lil about my sex-capades!

cheers
Max

Life Choices

2011-12-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

Every decision we make has a "line" that when it is crossed perhaps its time to questions those decisions. Its the make-it-or-break-it this-or-nothing line. Well this speakupp thing has brought a few of these lines into my perspective. The first being, is speakupp worth doing? I mean it has great inertia but its going to be a lot of work and maybe it isnt. This one, although thought about, doesnt mean the most to me right now. I do believe the project has validity im just not going to be able to hit our april release date like I had hoped. Sad but I can recover from it.

The bigger question is: Is this a city and school I want to pay to stay in anymore? And the more I look the more I realize the people and the price point of the university are the only things keeping me here. Dont get me wrong, the people who I am here for are wonderful, but I'd be so much happier somewhere else. Somewhere gay-er (at least more friendly) and with more gays whom feel the same way as me. This town is sucking me dry, my batteries arent as recharged after breaks as they used to and its because I have to come back HERE. On top of that my school has been actively FUCKING both my academic and social lives. The chem department here is abominable and now with this Speakupp bullshit I cant justify spending my money at a university like this when they come back and treat me like this. This place is not geared towards my major or anything like it and has been generally inhospitable. I know people complain about their work or school but I also feel like I do it more than the norm, like I may behaving greater issues than the normal "just a number" people will feel when at university.

So im applying to a few places, U of M both twin cities and Duluth, and University of Wisconson Madison and Eau Claire. Duluth is my first pick, followed by Eau Clair, twin cities, and Madison. I like madison and visited there after high school but its more money and farther away so its last on the list. Duluth I love due to the area and the scenic beauty but also the school is super legit, its mostly underground so you dont have to deal with the cold and it is an all around reputable school. I have a couple friends whom go to school there and they both say they love it so I think I would fit in well there. I guess we'll see where it all goes! Finals week is of course stressful, this is my little break for the day then back to the grind, but manageable since I only have two final exams, the others are simple partfolios or written finals. I hope everyone else is doing well and I'll post more soon.

Cheers
Max

Well this just sucks

2011-12-08T16:02:00.002-06:00

SCFC, the organization in charge of publication funding, has rescinded their grant money officially today. They, and the student senate, send their "Sincerest condolences" about crushing this project in their money grubbing hands. The amount I was asking for wasn't even HALF my own tuition cost but this process was brought against me to protect the university from abuse of student fee's. I will be looking for funding but at this time I have no choice but to suspend out April release date. We are now 3 and a half months behind with no money so now grants and scholarships are the name of the game, we need cash to get this thing off the ground so any ideas at all on how we can move forward would be wonderful. I'm sorry this has happened, I should have been more prepared for what the university would react like and could not stop them from working us out. Sitting in that conference room listening to them discuss the fate of our project was the hardest thing to do and the worst part was, I could do nothing about it. I hope you will all forgive me. Please have a great finals week as that approaches, and drive safely over the holidays.

Cheers
Max Maltese

I now have finals, and final papers and partfolio's to finish. I'm stressed and depressed beyond belief. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm applying to some different universities. I can't stay here and lead a productive life. I hate my life right now. I dont know what to do. Help.

Destroyed

2011-12-06T02:03:00.000-06:00

Despite everything going well, and everything being signed and passed, the university has pulled my funding for speakupp. Im crushed. And defeated. And with finals and work I dont have much time to petition this decision. Not only that but that sets us backa tremendous amount of time, time I should be using to generate content. I can't do anything really until after break now. I hate my life right now. And I hate this school for fucking with me and then taking away everything. Fuckkk idk what to do. This could kill the project. I'm so destroyed right now. fuck.

An Interesting Night

2011-12-04T20:01:00.000-06:00

Last night was interesting because I actually made some friends, or something like that. But I have to back track a tad just to get y'all caught up. I think I met a really good guy. We met over grindr but I have seen him on Manhunt before. He has a similar bio to mine so hes looking for a relationship. I just never messaged him on manhunt because to be honest hes really good looking and 6' 7", so finally a guy taller than I am! He messaged me and we got to talking and he is an extremely nice guy! hes a hair older than me at 22 but a year and a half is not a big gap. We ended up talking on the phone for about 2 hours and hit it off really well so we might be meeting this coming friday down in Fargo! I really hope he can make it because I want to meet him pretty badly, but if not he'll be in the cities in the same town i live in!! So we are definitely meeting this month for sure but im hoping really hard that it is this week, to be honest I really wanna meet him sooner. I just have to make sure I dont smother him. Yet I digress back to my original goal of this post.

Last night was interesting because I made some new friends! There was this kid, we'll call him Chris, who came into the store. At first he was really quiet but I was sitting out at the counter working on homework and we ended up chatting a bit and it turns out he's a really cool guy. Hes a hair younger than me and not going to school right now but he is one of the ost genuine and honest guys I have met in a long time. He is unfortunately straight but still a really awesome kid, I look forward to burning with him in the future. I just feel bad because he wanted to hang out right away and like a jerk I have to go and be super fucking busy all the time. Hopefully next weekend we can hang out and chill and talk music, which we have really similar tastes in.

Also last night I met a homostoner, which is a rare event indeed. Actually when I think about it I met three homostoners which is unprecedented. The first was a cute guy named Matt, he has curly hair and the total cute hipster look going. We made eyes at eachother a lot and I gave him my number. At first when I picked up on him I was just going to let him go without it because I'm kinda saving myself for this new guy but I thought "what the hell" nothing is written in stone yet and maybe it'll just be really cool to have a homostoner friend! Of course I gave it to him and he swaggered out to make sure his cute little dog didnt tear up the car, but texted me right away haha so when I have time i'll be hanging out with him too! The other two homostoners were a lesbian couple that are 27 years apart in age. I recruited them for speakupp because they live close and are so cute, plus I havent been able to get any older gays in on the podcast yet so it'll be good for the diversity of the site :)

All in all an interesting night at the headshop, only thing now Is I wish people would tip about 3 bucks more and I can afford nachos from next door...yum

Cheers
Max

Perspective

2011-12-04T12:43:00.000-06:00

In my previous post, I talked about drug use and the decision. Although brief I said "They made the decision. Period." But this comment I received puts things into a ver different light:

"Max, there is another perspective to consider that may not have occurred to you, and didn't to me until I had been practicing medicine for a while, is that many people who use drugs are mentally ill (and were before they started using) and are treating their symptoms with the drugs. What I see the most is young men who have been using or abusing marijuana or alcohol daily or near daily since they were teens. When I talk to them about why they use and their life in general, it quickly becomes obvious that they have an anxiety disorder, less commonly another mental illness. As one patient taught me, he couldn't make it through a day in school or at his job without marijuana to treat his anxiety. But it is easier to use marijuana than to admit that you have a mental illness, and much cheaper to buy marijuana than to afford a psychiatrist and prescription meds. So partially our drug problem in this country is due to our lack of nationalized healthcare for our people.

Yeah, meth and the harder drugs are different, but still many of the users were mentally ill first and drugs users later."

When you look at why most people use drugs, it is a form of self medication. And while I agree with the medicating for anxiety and mental disorder, I feel marijuana as a softer drug does not pertain to greatly to this with the exception of anxiety. I have heard quite a bit about how people will use cannabis in order to calm nerves and such and as a proponent of marijuana legalization I have nothing to comment on this, its your call and it is probably cheaper than prescription meds would be. But the Meth up here is to prevalent, to invasive to be a symptom of metal disorder and distress. If that is the case then I don't believe even universal healthcare could pull this poor dump out of its downward spiral. Starting today i'm going to keep a running tally of the oil burners we sell (those being the glass pipes used to consume methamphetamine), to put into perspective how prevalent meth is in this area. It may stun you. I thank Green and Purple for commenting what he did, its fun to have someone not only comment but correct/challenge my views and statements! If nobody did I would probably end up saying the most ridiculous things just to keep you guys interested ;) Hope your all having a good day!!

Cheers
Max

Interesante

2011-12-03T13:08:00.001-06:00

I have to day, working at a head shop is probably the best job ever. I know I dont talk about my job much, mostly because even though it is chill, its still a job and when im not doing retail-y things like restocking shelves im studying. But some of the people who come through here are real winners, I wish I could take some pictures kind of like the people of walmart site (If you have not checked it out you have to, its a great way to kill a little time. Anyways here are a couple of my favorite things that happen here:

It is far from a steady flow of people so I get to chill in back and

study quite a bit. Although I find myself saying "I'm at work! Why work harder?" Which is a terrible mind set and now im woefully behind in my school work with the final week of classes coming up next week I need to get to work, I work 24 hours this weekend so time to get my butt in gear!! As you can see we got a fooseball table (Sp?), some weights, a punching bag, tv, couches and a chair. Just the equivalent of a really chill bachelor pad which is essentially what it is.

Occasionally a girl from the restraunt next door will come over here and drop off a sandwich which they made a mistake on, those are always the best days cause it's a little taco joint called the Red Pepper. Its a pretty famous place in grand forks, known for great drunk munchies. Its a typical college joint, every college town has a place like this. SO when they do make a mistake they go big haha last one I got was a zep with taco meant, ham, cheese, lettuce and a white sauce they make in house Yum!

But the best part is the people, of course you have some tweakers comet through here, it may come as a surprise to those on the coasts but meth is far more prevalent here than you imagine. We sell these awful little things called "oil burners", thats legal speak for a crack pipe. They cost us about .45 cents

a piece but we sell them according to size, 6,8,and 11 dollars. And we sell a lot of them. Work here long enough and you can identify who is in the store to get one. They are the people who don't linger, they come in with what you first assume is a purpose or a mission because they cruise to the counter where we keep them and hail you over right away to pull something out. But this is a little misleading, its not a mission they're on, they're ashamed. As they should be. Its meth. The end of your life for most, the last drug you'll ever do or want to do. It's sad to watch and even weirder to deal with them.

If they are tweaking too hard we are supposed to ask them to leave, but I usually dont just because, even though im 6'5" tall, I dont want to take on a drug addled meth head. They can be absolutely nuts. They're usually either friendly or silent, but its always a feeling of dread wrapping one up for someone because you know what its going to be used for, you know they are killing themselves. Its especially weird when someone who hasnt been smoking it long comes in, always normal looking and usually they still have their spring in their step. It doesnt last long and you see the drug take hold. Why do I still sell them? Because they had a choice, and they made their decision. End of story.

But besides that group there are two types of people who come in, the non functioning stoner and the functioning stoner. The first is easily identifiable by nasty clothes, cig smell, and a general lack of decorum. They dont listen when you say "Don't say bong" because its called a "water pipe" here (walking that fine line pretty hard if I say so myself). And eventually you have to kick one or two of the out, they always act hurt and bummed but show up the next day anyways. They wanna touch everything but rarely buy anything. And they think they're your best friend because they assume you smoke pot.

I guess now would be the time for me to address the smoking thing before I go on to the functional stoner. I like to smoke, I do and I'm willing to admit it. But I know where my priorities are and I know school and speakupp are first, fun later. So I very rarely smoke during the week and when I do smoke on the weekends its usually a bowl or two with some buddies while I'm kicking it with them. I'm not one of those joint a day guys who need it to operate normally.

The functional stoner (like myself) Gets shit done but still enjoys themselves. The know how to balance the fun and responsibilities of life. Of course the legal status of marijuana provides an interesting twist in the functional stoners life, he has to doge the law when it gets in his way. I personally never carry stuff, if I do its only in Mn and its under 4 grams. That in mn is equivalent to a parking ticket. But in North Dakota? Marijuana is a higher scheduled drug than meth, Marijuana is a class AA drug carrying a felony status at under half an oz. That means marijuana is more illegal to posses and smoke than meth, heroine, and cocaine. Fuck us, right?

So thats my job, dealing with some of the best and worst of the community up here in the barren tundra. In the course of me writing this post, a woman came in with here three young children and I had to ask her to leave because under 18 means under 18 even with a parent. She got really angry and yelled at me calling me "Un American"...yeah, ok. But on the bright side, these stoner kids are some of the hottest guys. The guy who just came in was wearing sweats, a hoodie and one of those ball caps to hold back his longish hair. Cute face and a bangin bod and chill enough to hang out and chat for a bit. I love my job :)

Why that'll only be happening once

2011-12-01T18:22:00.000-06:00

Well here's the deal with the one time only thing, there is a lot of baggage this guy has, zee has been married twice now. Hes 22. He does drag (Why do drag queens love me?!!?!) which isnt a turn off for me but the sewn in extentions were kinda weird. He used to do meth. He smokes cigs. He's going to school for professional hair cutting. He has two children, with the same names as Will Smiths...I mean none of these things are a personal grudge its just not something I'm interested in. But the names? wow

He had their names tattooed on his back thats how I found out they were jaden and willow...ey ey ey. I just dont see WANTING anything besides sex from him and thats just not fair to anyone, ya know? Hope you guys dont hate me, but the sex was REALLY good haha

Cheers
Max

Smutty

2011-12-01T17:49:00.000-06:00

This post contains content not recommended for anyone under the age 18, you have been warned.

SO yeah, I have heard from more than one person that the occasional post of my sexapades has been rather entertaining, i think its because I dont post them all that much that they end up so liked haha. Or maybe i'm just good at writing, but thats not too likely. But yes, After about an 8 month dry spell I FINALLY got laid. Finally. I should preface that I will NOT be sleeping with this person again, he is nice and wants more like I do but when baggage starts dumping out, Its not something I can handle a lot fo right now, but I will post more about that in a different post, this is just the fun stuff :)

We'll call him Zee, hes a white guy, 23, and a little shorter than I am (Im a tall mofo at 6'5") with long hair and a cute smile. He has snake bite piercing and a tongue stud, a tattoo on his back and on his upper arm which looked really hot. He had a banging bod, tight abs and decent arms. And his dick? Beautiful

We met on manhunt and had been talking for awhile, he was really nice and genuine, we talked a lot about how he was going to school and just looking for fun but would like something more. And he was 420 friendly, always a plus :) So I invited him over to snuggle and he actually said yes. Now I'm very upfront about my body since its pretty much my one point of self degradation I have. I am working out and with my limited budget I eat less and have been trimming down but im still not happy with it. So he knew I was a cub, with fuzz and all and came anyways which made me very happy :) He got to my place and we chatted for awhile and introduced eachother to our pieces. He didnt name his whic i thought was weird but we were hitting it off pretty well! So we decided to watch a movie, he picked black swan.

I am going to go out on a limb and say maybe a darren aronovski movie isnt the best cuddle movie but it didnt matter much since we didnt spend much time watching the movie haha. We cuddled for about 30% of the movie which turned into us making out and rolling around slowly stripping eachother. The rush of unbuttoning his pants made my fingers tremble a bit, but with the pressure that was behind it they popped right open. We rolled around some more in just our boxers, just letting our hips grind together, he would run his nails down my back once in a while and I would shudder, it was really hot. After he did that a few times I couldnt wait any longer. I grabbed his hips, picked him up and sat him up so I could rip off his boxers and see his glorious junk. It stood rigidly at attention and throbbed in front of me as i tenderly licked that sensitive area between his balls and thigh, he writhed and moaned and I hadnt even touched his dick yet.

Then I took as much as I could down my throat, he had to be a good at least 8 inches and decently thick. His sack was loose around his balls and fell between his legs it was so relaxed, but full. Finally I needed a breather and he rolled me over and started going down on me and I have to say, I usually hate head but he was so good at it ( I think his tongue stud had something to do with it) I had to ask him to stop because I couldnt stop from kicking at the sheets. It was some fuckin intense head. Finally after nibbling on his neck and collarbone I asked him to fuck me.

I rolled a condom on and pulled it all the way to the base, using up all of the condom with a hair of space at the base of his cock. I took it on my back, At first I was afraid we were going to need some lube but he went slow until he was completely in. Oh god, it felt so good. It has been too long and someone that big hurts just a little at first but very quickly that chill of pleasure hits every nerve in your body and you just relax and enjoy it. Now something you guys might not know about me is I don't do slow very well, in fact if I'm bottoming I want to be POUNDED. I love that feeling of his balls hitting my ass and feeling my body react to each deep thrust. I'm embarrassed to say I only lasted about 5 minutes before I couldnt keep it in anymore, he had been going hard and fast the whole time and said he could have gone longer so maybe we may have to do this a little more often haha.

I told him I was close and he did the best thing ever, He grabbed my legs and lifted them way back behind my head and just went to town. I have never felt such a incredible sensation and shot multiple jets of cum all over, I hit the wall behind me, my fucking eye (it does hurt, jesus) and dribbled all over my chest. Zee saw this and pulled out, I watched his balls tremble as he struggled to get the condom off. As soon as the condom cleared the tip of his cock he shot a huge load, at this point I had sat up hoping to blow him a lil more before he came but instead sat up to a full shower facial. three or four good shots on my face and chest. It was a fucking mess I tell ya it was a bitch to clean up. thank god somehow none had gotten on my sheets and had pretty much only landed on me or hit the wall. He collapsed next to me and we just sat there breathing hard as hell taking in what had just happened, my whole body still tingled, especially my knees. When I finally had the strength to get up I grabbed a towel and cleaned up a bit. Shortly after he got dressed and took off because low and behold we had actually been kissing and fucking for an hour and a half.

Boy did I need that, not to mention, when he finally started fucking me? was when Natalie Portman Mila Kunis started eating each other out, it was a lot hotter than I remember ;P

Keep reading
Cheers
Max

Light and Dark

2011-11-28T14:40:00.000-06:00

The stark contrast between home and here at school can be a bit jarring at times, here at school im out but there isnt really anybody to be out to. School is stressful, research/work/speakupp dont help when it come to the work load. At home my responsibilities dissolve away and I can feel that weight which sits on my chest just evaporate. I wish I could find a happy medium between the two but at this stage in my life i'm just going to have to grin and bear it for the next couple years :/ a bummer to realize but thats life.

My last night at home was...interesting. I went to Nyssa's house to party down with her, a couple we're mutually friends with, joe and briana. It was an interesting group and the party started out slow but definitely moved up in my rank of craziest partys when the booze started flowin. I'll skip the details and fast-forward to all of us in a hot tub together naked. It was a blast. No nothing happened it was just the whole drunk giggles coupled with relaxing with jacuzzi jets. Before I knew it, it was just me and joe in the hot tub together naked, drunk, and alone. I wanted to jump his bones so fuckin bad but thank god ol booze brain wasnt completely in control haha we just sat and chatted unil 6 in the fuckin morning. SIX!!! it was nuts and the way he was so comfortable made me think "perhaps I can make a move" but at the same time he has full on flashed me (not just some quick thing either, but a "hey check out my balls" kinda look lol) just to prove how comfortable he is with me and his sexuality. WHich is great but at the same time a total tease to me haha oh well, I got plenty of looks :) Idk what do you guys think, you think he was lookin to fool around drunk a lil? I always miss subtle hints like that but at the same time hes a cool kid and I didnt wanna completely fuck things over if he got weird about it.

But yeah, went home and crashed fuckin hard after that, but not before getting all those images of joe outta my brain ;) And was woken up by the dogs at noon the next afternoon, I had to run quick to jerrys before going to grab a roommate and make my way back to gf. I cannot put into works how awful the drive back to school is, not only is all the stress creeping back into my shoulders the whole time but also everything is dying around you as you drive up until you hit fargo and realize all you can see is dead grass as far as the eye can see. It is truly horrific and even more difficult to stay awake through the whole drive. I took TWO five hour energies and a monster and was still yawning the whole time. I hate that drive with a fiery passion. But now I'm home (yay?) and finals are upon me, I have a huge speech due next week and stress up the wahoo all the way until finals, prepare thynselves for the cursory "IM SO FUCKING STRESSED" posts in the coming weeks if I even have time to post.

But on a different note, check out my tumblr are bored or need a quick laugh, I love tumblr just for the ease of use and how its interesting to get to know someone through the pictures and videos they post. Its almost all pictures and vids like I said so minimal brain power is needed to process it all, something we can all appreciate from time to time :) CLICK HERE FOR HAPPY FUN TIME!!!

P.S. Flirting with the most adorable kid right now, god I hope something comes out of it he is really a catch!!

We've been chatting and exchanging pics and hes more real than the normal "wanna fuck?" guys you usually run into. Meeting him will be my reward after finals if we click and keep chatting. Enjoy the eye candy ;)

Cheers
Max

Alpha

2011-11-26T19:53:00.000-06:00

So I consider myself to be very masculine as far as my character goes, I have a pretty gay haircut and do like to make myself look good so i dress nicely, but sometimes i think that is just an act to advertise my homosexuality to other people so I dont go completely unnoticed. Not last night but the night before, My buddy travis pulled me aside and explained to me that I am the alpha of our group, I guess im just the head bitch in charge and I had no idea! Do you guys think this is even a real thing? I mean, i never thought about it until travis brought it up but it is an interesting idea. I mean me? WHy me? I am gone the most out of the group and do the least planning but for some reason everyone seems to gravitate in my direction, this became very apparent last summer when I was home all the time and people were blowing up my schedule all the time. To be honest its a nice little confidence boost to be called the alpha, to know they will follow me no matter what? Kinda cool, I just have to keep it all from going to my head.

I hope everyone had en enjoyable Thanksgiving! OUrs was uneventful, just a good ol fashioned diner. I then went to best buy and hung out with jerry who had been there for two days already, he got a really bomb tablet, keyboard, and a 200 dollar 42 in television. A fuckin steal is what that is lol. I got a blu ray movie for my dad and a game for my sister, i was saving my money for all the clothes I was going to buy, and i busted a huge wad on black friday's face if I do say so myself!

I went to two stores, american eagle and gap. Got two shirts, a pair of undies, socks, a sweater, and cologne from american eagle. From the Gap I got two pairs of pants, a pair of shorts, a belt, a scarf, and a bomb sweater/hoodie. I'll post pictures when I have time to lay it all out or model it :) I spose I dont have too many pictures of myself on here so it'll be interesting for you guys to see me with my new haircut and all, maybe I'll change my blogger picture :) We'l see!

Have an awesome rest of your weekend guys, im gonna go have a final bash with the guys tonight and then im off back to school tomorrow afternoon. Lame, break was too short as always.

Cheers
Max

Wait this was a Weekend?!?! SHIT!!!!

2011-11-20T11:43:00.000-06:00

Well at least I get next weekend off from work and everything, Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and with nothing besides work standing in my way, I'm thrilled. This weekend however? Exhausting, stressful and annoying. A lot of shit happend this week at all so im gonna make a list and hit some of them, the rest are pretty self explanitory:
-Tuition snafu double charged me over drafting my account costing me 155 dollars in overdraft fees
-Got a really bad head cold/possible sinus infection
-Got awarded 1,750.00 from UND for equipment
-Might have done well on my Neuro exam
-Dressed up as James Lipton for a class speech (bald caps are expensive!)
-Got pulled into work all weekend because a coworker quit so I went from a 6 hour weekend to a 22 hour one.
-Got a call from the kid I fooled around with at 4 this morning, he called me baby and it was weird

SO where to begin right? The tuition snafu has been figured out but it was 4 hours of legwork on Wednesday between my bank and the school bitchy Student Account Services Lady. Frusterating to say the least and the worst part is it was a 26.36 dollar fee, thats it and I got 155.00 dollars worth of fees. I may be changing backs to a credit union.

This cold? Killing me. I had to take my neuro exam under the influence of dayquil and a lot of it. I don't like taking tests on that stuff because it makes me fuzzy. But come Thursday, despite my cold I brought all the paperwork and had a meeting with the student committee in charge of funding publications and they gave speakupp 1750 for equipment. No interest loan basically which I can pay back at my own speed. All they want is to garnish 20% of ad revenue to an account on campus which can be used to pay off the debt, which isnt a problem because I would like to pay this off asap. SO yay!! Very high quality equipment!

And this morning I awoke to a missed call, message, and text from the kid I hooked up with last Sunday. It was at 4 in the morning so he was obviously fucked up on something. He spoke clearly about how he misses me and he called me baby. SOme would have found that cute but it was just downright sad to me. Dunno if i wanna continue on with this kid if hes getting attached, or worse I get attached (I get attached VERY easily, I'm just really affectionate). I just texted him back "Baby? Wow you must have been drunk lol". A lil rude but it shows him i'm still nice about it and don't really care. We'll see how that pans out.

Which brings me here, to work where I sit typing this post since its Sunday and all the stoners are still asleep, post coital or otherwise. 22 hours this weekend when I should have had six but Ty quit and here I am. Sick as hell dreaming of cough drops and not able to get any. Tea is helping with my nose but not my now sore throat. I just need bed rest but that isnt going to be able to happen until I get home for break and I was hoping I would be better before then because im going black friday shopping after thanksgiving dinner at My aunts house. Every year me, jerry and company camp outside of Best Buy in a heated tent and eat thanksgiving leftovers from all our families. I usually give Jerry the money for whatever I wanted there and take off for the gap because everything half off? Fuck yeah! And very rarely do you see a guy there so I get all my sizes and don't have to fight anybody :)

I hope everyone reading this has somewhere special to be for Turkey day! Have a great day everyone and i'll post soon

Cheers
Max

THe things that get you through the night

2011-11-17T23:13:00.000-06:00

Ugh, my social life has been a mess. I'm supposed to be studying (like every other moment of my life) but im procrastinating by being on here, so I feel like this is at least productive procrastination! If there is such a thing.

I have been on the prowl for a relationship for quite some time with no results. I understand with my limited time to actually socialize and the glaring flaws i have and continue to beat myself up over, it can be a tough beat to find a guy. Especially in this region. I have flirted with some, but i'm waiting for a guy to want me around and is willing to ask me to come to them or is willing to come to me, neither has happened. There is one guy who I did kinda hook up with lately, And as fucking cliche and embaressing as it is, His name is Max. Yes, i fooled around with a guy with the same name as me. Actually I know him from high school ironically, he's bi and flirting and asked me if i wanted to fool around. Actually how he put it was "Pound me until I sneeze white." Charming, right?

Despite the fact that I don't consider myself a top really, I went along with it because to be honest, its been over 6 months since I've been laid so why the fuck not? He came over and as we watched a movie we snuggled and rolled around (Always my favorite part! Well...Except for that money shot...lol). I ended up blowing him. Yep, you read that right. And i'm actually not ashamed at all, he said I was good lol. Hes a fit little bugger, not quite a twink but HUNG. sometimes its surprising that the people you least expect it pack the most heat lol. So i got to get off as well and it was all hunkey dorey, we cuddled for like another hour and a half and watched sweeney todd until about 3 in the morning. It was nice to have someone to cuddle. I had to keep reminding myself not to get attached because cuddling is the road to my damn heart, along with pretty much any form of an affection.

God i'm a soft touch (Totally a line one of my professors used in stead of "A Softey" lol)

I'm still looking but I have needs too, im going to be a little more open about my sexuality now and explore it more. Although now I do need to go get tested :/ gonna have to figure that one out. Hope everyone out there is doing well and has someone warm to cuddle at night :)

Cheers
Max

Change

2011-11-15T20:45:00.000-06:00

Its inevitable, happens sometimes without us knowing about it. Speakupp has brought a lot of change into my life and is helping me to see and think like an adult. I sometimes wonder why people dont comment as much and I think this may be the reason, I've gotten hyper analytical and downright no fun, I need to cool my jets. SO here is a question which will help me explain:

What will your new blog be about? Have you just decided to start a fresh or will you be keeping this one to?

I will start completely new. I have no idea what i'm going to call it yet because this change wont be happening for at least 3-4 months. But with the release of speakupp I want to redefine my blog just a hair because speakupp has redefined me a little bit. I'm a little more politically active now, more busy, more business-y, and perhaps a little more vain. I'm growing up! It's awesome and depressing at the same time. I just need to remember i'm only 20 sometimes and not try to take on the world, I keep pretty high standards for myself, and they can kick my ass and make me feel like shit. But that personal growth for ya, huh?

Essentially the new blog will be the same as this just me grown up, a fresh slate. I'll still blog the same, hopefully more consistently. But it'll be a bit more active, a little less drama filed although my life will still be the main topic. I just hope all of you will continue to come along for the ride :)

Cheers
Max

A little me time now

2011-11-12T10:47:00.000-06:00

Ah. No more speak up here (besides that). New blog going up by tonight as soon as I am motivated to make it all happen. I hope some of you will come over and at least fallow the news, its a really big part of my life right now and means a lot to me. Yesterday was Veterans day and I didnt feel the need to post a Facebook post about it like everyone else. This may seem insensitive but I promise I was thinking of them all day! Every little thing I knew I could do here that couldnt be done in another country, I would stop for a moment and just thank the veterans from the silent part of my mind, where true appreciation lies.

Ethan has been gone since tuesday and it has been really good catharsis time for me to realize this crush is silly. I knew as soon as I got back from the conference that I needed to move on because even if we did end up dating (which is highly unlikely) I don't think he would have the amount of heart in the relationship that I do. What people don't know if I'm one of the most loving/caring/affectionate people in the world. I am willing to go the distance for just about anyone but If I like you? Fuckin first class service right there. And Ethan is naturally just a flirt, more so with me than others but it doesnt change the fact. And I don't need to sit here waiting for him to love me back. He loves me, just in a different way than I wanted. But this week without him has given me time to clear my head and start getting over his ass. Its not like I could do better, actually he can do better than me, but I need to find someone who has as much love to offer as I do. Not a whole lot to ask but here in the barren tundra of north dakota pickens are slim.

I have had some people contact me through manhunt. That being said, its MANHUNT, so my hopes are not high. My profile on there is very much about how i'm looking for something real so distant people and people just looking to get off can take a hike. Its honest and im putting myself out there. There are two messaging me. One is my age but just wants to fuck, which after SIX AND A HALF MONTHS of celibacy, doesnt sound half bad. The other is a nice guy, fit, cute, and a little older than me, 24. He also has two kids and is divorced. And now going to school for hair styling. I understand the following statements may seem harsh so I warn you now, but c'mon. Hairstyling? I guess i'm picky which is a terrible trait for a pace so devoid of gays, but I was hoping to find someone who is as educated as me to actually have a relationship with. Am I just being picky and vain? or should I keep my standards where I want them?

So I guess now my question is, What the hell am I going to get Ethan for his birthday? I'm clueless, does anybody have any good tips on gifts for a gay pilot?

Cheers
Max

Just a little more speak up I promise!

2011-11-08T21:21:00.000-06:00

I'm going to be starting a speakupp only blog pretty soon here. Jacob over at good as gay is running a little PR for me and we are drummin up some national support for speakupp which is bloody FANTASTIC! Its so exciting things are moving so quickly!! That being said, If anybody, and I mean ANYBODY is interested in participating in this project please shoot me an email @ maxingrandforks@gmail.com I promise you won't regret it it's quite an interesting site already :)

Coding has begun and that is the one piece which makes me nervous. I have faith in Jamie but you never know what can go wrong and at this point I have five months to have a fully beta tested site, a small miracle will have to happen unless I can get people to not only help with the site but check it out and review it as well.

The mission of this site is to reach out to rural glbtqa and let them know they are not alone. The idea is evolving though, we want to also use the image we project as a double edged sword and reasses the image we as a community give off. And to be honest the stereotypes and cliches we project as a minority aren't good. A lot of people get their information and views on gays from mass media which is a terrible representation. This project will allow queers of all kinds to be represented in the light they chose and give the public a clearer image of what our community is actually like.

So again, if this sounds like something you would be interested in please feel free to email me at maxingrandforks@gmail.com

I will make a speakupp blog soon, but when the project goes public I will be terminating both this blog, the speakupp one, and every other post/blog I have had on blogger and will be starting fresh. A fresh plate for a very new stage of my life. So I hope you will all come along for the ride :)

Cheers
Max

Mocc

2011-11-06T19:21:00.000-06:00

MOCC or the Minnesota OUT! Campus Conference was this weekend and I was privileged enough to go with a group from UND to represent our campus at St. Cloud State. It was my first conference and was pretty much what I expected, a huge conglomeration of gays turned into one smile after another. It was a new and very refreshing realization that I can let down all my guards and talk about such sensitive things as relationships, crushes, and GLBTQA oriented polotics.

I made it to a few very interesting panels such as "Not queer enough: Who is allowed in the room?". The speaker here talked at length about stereotypes and how the GLBTQA community is represented to the population at large. We also discussed looking queer and the faces of the GLBTQA community. It was an awesome presentation and the presenter, Natalie Kleug, might be collaborating with Speakupp as well!

That night there was a tremendous drag show put on by the st cloud drag troop, which I was so privileged to attend with Good as Gay's Jacob! We got to talk very briefly about speakupp but unfortunately fate was against us when we tried to connect and actually sit down :/ between car troubles and cell phone chargers we'll have to wait until Thanksgiving :/

But after the drag show the magic happened. Me, Nathan, Maddie, and Colleen approached the GSA from The University of Minnesota Morris (UMM) and brought them back to our room in order to party and mingle al little bit. That turned into me asking questions prepared for speakupp and it went really well, the questions went extremely well and with a little refinement they will be ready for the next few podcasts! Now I just need to practice my announcer voice!

Anyways, ive had a cathartic night of conversations which I will post about later, I need to learn how to write better so I can convey my blog better to you guys haha. I'l work on it, i promise :)
Cheers
Max

I'm famous?

2011-11-04T00:59:00.002-05:00

So i just stumbled on this article and I think they may have just stolen my life and name for a sitcom... Weird.

Dawn OF a New Gay

roller coaster week

2011-11-03T19:52:00.000-05:00

I need some stability in my life haha First my dad put the kabash on my france trip because he wont pony up the 200 dollar downpayment which I would have paid him back for once my insurence money came in. But alas I guess its just not destined for me to get to have a vacation for the next few years. Total bummer, I actually cried a bit which I havent done in quite awhile. I think to add insult to injury I got some stomach bug all day yesterday and just layed in bed all day. The feeling of being unproductive was horrific so I updated my tumblr a bunch and caught up on my dr who haha. Once the day was over I didnt wanna go to school today but oh well, i got a little vacation i guess!

Ethan is waffling on the trip down to MOCC this weekend which really bums me out cause this weekend was going to be the epic VM ownage time. I have business cards all done for speakupp and a meeting with Jacob but other than those I was just gonna be the best bad ass I could. And maybe finally confront ethan about how I do still have feelings for him so I need to hear from his mouth that there never will be anything so I can grow up a little. Hes always saying the flirtiest things and we mesh so damn well I just dont see why. But oh well, cross that bridge when i get there right?

I'll be sure to tweet and try to blog from the conference, Pictures a must for my first one and tons of fun to be had regardless of ethan attendance or not :) Hope everyone is doing well!

Cheers
Max

hahah yeah!!!!

2011-11-03T01:17:00.000-05:00

Jonathan from one girl 5 gays tweeted at me, it was a brief little message but oh so sweet I eve got one! Hes adorable and i'm copying his haircut cause i think its gorgeous, here it is!!

Tumblr

2011-11-01T02:44:00.001-05:00

Decided I wanted to try out tumblr if I was going to be asking people to try something like it out for speakupp. http://maltesefalcon91.tumblr.com/ Got the final drafts of the logo and they look AWESOME!! Got them mounted on cork board on high gloss paper, the whole thing looks pretty bomb. Will post a pic soon!

Cheers
Max

Q&A

2011-10-30T23:06:00.000-05:00

I don't get a lot of questions on here, but I am currently writing up some questions for future podcasts of speak up and was wondering if you guys had any ideas? I got a lot fo basic get to know you quippets but if you wanted to ask someone ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING, what would you ask them? Feel free to leave as many suggestions as you like :)

Cheers
Max

Smooooth

2011-10-27T22:49:00.001-05:00

Everything is going smoothly. I smoothed everything out with Ethan, I was being a little bitch and I realized it after a few hours of chilling and thinking. I very rarely have the time to do that anymore so sometimes I dig myself a hole haha. But me and Ethan get along tremendously, now if only this nagging crush would go away we could truly be the best of friends. It'll go with time but I feel like by the time that happens it'll be graduation time and he'll be leaving me :( I can't believe im at a stage in my life already where graduation is a real thing. With my obvious fuck ups the last couple years im looking at 5 years just to get my GPA to a place where I'm comfortable and can submit my honors thesis. It's a lot to look int he face right now and sometimes I have a little trouble but this is something I have to do for myself and by god I'm going to do it.

I got the rough draft of the logo for speakupp today and it looks great, some tweaking and it'll be all ready! I'm going to make business cards before I go down to MOCC for the GLBTQ conference that way I can maybe do a little networking in order to drum up support, I'll also be able to meet Jacob from over at Good as Gay! We skyped for the first time on Sunday in order for me to get him up to speed on the project. I love that every time someone comes on board, they have another idea I didnt think of, something which adds to the awesomeness of this site :)

This morning I started my research with Dr. Darland which was fun because we started with gathering samples from mice. I'm not going to go into the termination process for the mice but it is as painless and humaine as we can possible make it. We collected our tissues and froze themand then worked on slides which is fun as well, I love being able to apply things I have learned at college to real life finally, feels like so far has been worth it. Validating.

Anyways, just a short post tonight, I have to go pick up ethan from his place and we're gonna drive around and chill for a little bit. Have a good night everyone!

Cheers
Max

Saturday Funday Part 2

2011-10-23T14:20:00.000-05:00

SO there i am just waiting to go home and the trans guy i was sitting next to was going to taco bell so I bailed. Ethan knew I wanted to go and was leaving at about the same time so I didnt feel bad leaving. The whole night left such a bad taste in my mouth I dont really know what to do about it, and by that I mean avoid this awful situation again. I really wish I had had my truck that would have solved EVERYTHING!

This morning ethan messaged me asking me if i felt like he ditched me, and i said yeah a little but the party was so fucked up I didnt really care. But then it hit me it did piss me off, it pisses me off that I feel like Ethan's dog all the time. I give Nathan shit when he comes at me and when he acts a fool and ethan loves it. But last night right before we left the parking lot of the drag show he chose to share with me the fact that we arent going to stay too long because he has a cuddle date with a guy named Alex. Girst I have heard of this guy and first ive heard that we werent supposed to stay long at the party i was assuming would be the highlight of my night. It was all just a big crap on my night and i very rarely have sundays off where I can actually have fun saturday night.

So i typed back to him "I just wonder some times why exactly im around, I know we're friends but sometimes I feel like more of a pet haha. Being stuck at that party blew, and then we didnt leave and I sat there and pretty much just made fun of nathan the whole night. And just seeing mason grind on will was depressing, idk I guess I just had higher hopes for my night thats all". He said that actually really hurt and I felt bad I had opened the can of worms but I feel like shit too. Am I wrong to put this on the table between us? My judgement is being clouded my my stupid infantile crush on him and could use some advice, we are supposed to hang out tonight to talk about it. Part of me just wants to ask for space because i'm the one who is crushing on him, not the other way around. But on the other hand I wanna keep him happy because without ethan I dont really have anyone else I can talk to. Jesus christ im starting to sound pathetic, ill stop here.

Comment or email!
Cheers
Max

Saturday Funday Part 1

2011-10-23T13:35:00.002-05:00

Well this weekend has been moderately interesting! WHich is a welcome change from the monotonous work and school. On friday I had work until ten and when I went out to start it, the battery had died. So I called a friend and she came out and we tried jumping it but no luck, I had work the next day so I just left it there. The next day I call AAA and they come out and jump it and it starts right away, and im on my way to the auto parts store when I realize my breaks were being really rough. I get to the place and check my brake fluid and its below min, So i throw the rest of the bottle I have and grab another one while im in grabbing a battery (which was 100 bucks?! jesus). I drive back and my brakes are rough again! So i check my fluid and its low again, so im thinking "maybe it just needed to be on and pumped to flush the system" so i fill it again. But all through the day I keep peeking out at my truck and I realize something is very wrong when there is a huge puddle under my truck. You guessed it! My drivers side brake line was completely blown, and leaking like a mad man!!! If I had driven anywhere else my breaks could have failed! I had it towed yesterday to a local garage and now have to get it repaired :/

I really hate the feeling of relying on other people for rides, I feel like such a burden. And this week on top of work and having to get groceries, I was also supposed to have two medical appointments for post bike accident related things but idk if I will be able to get to them at this point. I know there are people whom I can call for a ride, and they would more than likely be more than happy to do it. But this is a point of pride im not really willing to give up yet, I have budged on a lot of things in the name of personal growth but one thing I hate is when I feel like im a burden, it really bums me out and kind of degrades me. I know im being hard on myself but i'm always hard on myself, so what evs i guess haha

Last night though? wooo that was some shit. I went into the night thinking that after work ethan would grab me from work, id get to change and grab my booze and head to the drag show the 10% society organizes, and then hit up an after party and just have a good time with the gays. alas, no such things happenes, i mean they happened but just not like I had imagined.

I went to the drag show straight from work so I was sweaty and smelled of incense which isnt a cologne im fond of personally. The show is 21+ so I had to work for about 30 minutes to eran being there but after that is was all good, the first half of the night was fun. I rubbed the X's off my hands signifying im a minor and had some shots (My first at a bar actually! YAY!). I was just enjoying the show and then it went into dance time and me, ethan, mason, and will went on the dance floor for some fun. I have never really danced so I felt like a dope most of the time but it was a blast for awhile, ethan was so much fun and sometimes I wonder if he plays with my emotions a little because he knows I have the hots for him, not that im complaining. But grinding ensued and we danced for awhile. When I was finally way past overheating I went outside to grab some fresh air with will and mason, and mason just totally came on to will out there. I dont know why, if it was the booze or lack of sleep, but I was actually kind of pissed. I used to work with will and he is just a fuckin great guy, a sweetheart through and through. I dont know mason very well, hes a cutie for sure, but Ethan warned me hes kind of a slut. And when he came onto Will it kind of boiled my blood.

So at that point I was ready to go, I went in and told ethan but will and mason were right on my tail so we ended up on the dance floor again, thats when mason just started dry humping the shit outta Will, and will was totally into it. And hes an adult, he CAN enjoy it, but it just kind of bothered me so I just danced with Ethan. Or at least thought I could but while my back was turned some trollop was dancing with him and he was dancing back. so now im on the dance floor between two dry humping groups so i just go to get a glass of water and chill out cause now im hurt and weirded out. Finally ethan is ready to go and we can go to the party! YAY! not

The party is at a friend of ethans named ryan, and of course ethans ex was there which made things weird. He made some dumb comment about just seeing me and I tell him it hasent been long enough! I really dont like that douche for what he did to ethan and everything. Turns out hes a really fucking cheap date so about four beers in hes sloppy and slurring. Hes making a big enough idiot of himself so I didnt need to say anything. But ethan wanted to leave until someone he invited showed up so he kinda ditched me and hung out with him. So im at this party alone, without booze so im not blending at all, and i just get to sit there. It was awful. I ended up talking to a nice trans g-b who is going to be on speakupp so he rescued me thank god, but i just had to sit there and wait for ethan. thank god ethans friend let me take some pulls from his bottle, i was really miserable haha

I just realized how long this is getting so im gonna break it up and post a separate post More after the Jump!

Cheers
Max

Hooray for Thursdays

2011-10-20T18:27:00.001-05:00

Well my exam went "meh", of course our professor puts stuff he hardly covered on it but alas i have gotten to the point where I just accept my very best work because it is all I have got left. I'm giving it my all!! I sat down with Dr. Darland and she talked me through a few things like grad school and our chem department which helped me vent and made me feel a little better :)

Lo and behold, after that a more begrudging personal thing I had to finish up. About a boy, of course. His name is Max as well, I know how cheesy? I actually went to high school with him and he is a nice kid if just a little bit socially awkward. Well he found me at a tps meeting and was a very nice kid so i thought id give him a shot, but someone else beat me to it. Im very respectful of those kinds of things so I of course backed off, but when I was told it wasnt working I piqued my interest a little more to show max I was interested. I look back now and ask, what was I interested in? and I realize the answer and shake my head, cock.

I'll be the first to admit when im wrong or in it for the wrong reasons but when I realized what I was doing I was embarrassed, but undeterred. I still went for it and when he essentially turned me down I was shocked. The kid was enamored with me and talked to people about me but didnt wanna fuck? I was confused and angry and did the worst possible thing. Confronted him about it...over facebook. Now I will admit I had a few fingers of scotch and that lubed up my decision process but what I did was still wrong. Essentially he was too busy partying to hook up and wasnt acknowledging my advances at all and I was frustrated. I called him out for partying too much and not seeing what was right in front of his eyes. Well today I grabbed coffee with him and smoothed everything out. He was totally fine and explained he did wanna hook up but was busy and couldnt. SO maybe there is still hope but im not really on that train anymore just because of my behavior.

Ive just gotten to a point where not only am I lonely, i'm horny as hell too. and im getting cock crazy which I think is the syndrom most gays experience up here in this barren tundra. Masturbation gets old and beds get cold, and thats a sad story indeed :/ so at least now I know what not to do! right?

Speakupp production is going well, mock ups for the logo by the end of the month and in a couple days coding will begin. I am still trying to cover all the orientations possible which is proving difficult but I have a new gay and he is a blogger on here as well! Jacob over at good as gay is coming on board to help with recordings as a gay male. His more active political feel and knowledge of glbtq issues will be a wonderful addition to speakupp and will bring a wonderful academic view to the project :) If there is anybody else in the twn cities area who would be interested in working on a project like this with me should feel free to send me an email and we can chat about the project!

I hope everybody's week is going well! Its a beautiful fall week so get out and enjoy the colors before they are gone :) <3 you guys!!

Cheers
Max

Stress can get the best

2011-10-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Been VERY stressed out with everything going on. I lightened my course load because I was biting off WAY more than I could chew at this point. So 13 credits it is! Classes besides the one I dropped are going well, neuro is my only really tough one at this point. I have an exam on wednesday for that bad boy and hardcore studying for it starts tomorrow at a study group I have at 5. Tomorrow is an especially busy day because I have a meeting with a student organization here on campus which gives money to student organized events and ideas, they may be paying for all of my audio equipment!!! that would bring this project to a whole new level where the audio would be professional quality and just super fucking bomb!! Just typing about this project makes me really excited to get working on it :D

Today the ball to get this project rolling was pushed down a hill like they have in san fransisco. I met with my artist and gave him everything I had for the logo, hes going to do mock ups for the header and finish the final one for a cool 75 bucks (outta my pocket :/ ) but it will be really nice to give this project a name. Right after that meeting I headed over to Jamies house to talk coding, we made a plan for the site and we know what we're going for. I'm just hoping he is capable of doing everything we sat down and wanted to do. If not i'm going to have to find someone who can and who can work with the code and structure I already have done, really hoping Jamie can pull through because I have no idea where to begin on that dilemma. But on the other hand he did buy me a pizza hut pizza, so I guess i'll forgive him <3

For now its back to homework and work, but on the weekends I get to be a gay super hero and try and save the gays out ehre in the boons. The site is target to others as well but thats our primary demographic. I have not had a second date with anyone i've seen so i need something to cling to because my love life is non existant, not surprising seeing as I have about 45 minutes a week to devote to it haha

I have been thinking about deleting my manhunt profile just because even if I do find someone (which is looking fucking bleak here) I would not have the time to dedicate to a relationship. I'm also still not 100% on the hook up idea if im not looking for a ltr. I think i just need to be off the market for a little while and get my shit together and figure out when my life will let me have a bf. Its gonna suck but I might just have to bite the bullet there. Does anybody else have any advice on the subject of having the time to dedicate to a relationship? I'd be interested to hear what you guys have to say :)

Alright! i'm off to start my homework at exactly midnight. Gonna be up late :/

Cheers
Max

National coming out and Speak Upp-date!!

2011-10-11T15:12:00.000-05:00

Wow! A lot of crazy stuff happened today, mostly Tanner ran around giving everyone glitter herpes and Jaimie and Amanda got talked to about safety violations for dancing. But, Amanda is the coolest chic around so that just made my day.
Sincerely,
Amanda

Amanda stole my computer at the table and had a shout out to all you cool bloggerpeople!!! I hope everyone is having a great coming out day and that those of you who are coming out for the first time have a good experience, I am still waiting for the appropriate time to come out to my parents but it is nice to be out at school and just chill with people just like me. Speaking of which, My buddy jamie has agreed to code the site. That means its just a short couple of months before we have a release party and Speak-upp is on its way!!! That means target release date is APRIL 20TH, 2012! Im very excited to see this project evolve, i believe I have learned enough from brohaus broadcast that this project can succeed.

If anybody knows more about Organic Search Engine Optimization I can really use the help! I need to figure out source code which will boost our listing number on search engines :/

Have a wonderful coming out day and ill do a more in depth post bout my life soon, damn school is keeping me awfully busy.
Cheers
Max

Speak-upp

2011-10-08T19:17:00.000-05:00

Planning and work on my new site is going...slowly. I cant by no means handle this one on my own, I want a real internet site and its gonna take a lot of work. So at tps I had mentioned the sit and a need for help and collected some emails. I sent out a mass message for a meeting at a local coffee shop and offered to buy people coffee if they came. Out of 26 emails sent, 2 people come and one of them was a friend of the person i emailed, not someone on my list. I'm not complaining because between the three of us we got a lot done but I wish there was someone else with my drive to make some change. I have a ridiculous courseload and activity load but I find time, I wish I could find someone like minded. BUt hey! we got some major logo work done and it is looking pretty boss! I'll post pictures as soon as I get digital mock ups done :)

On the boy front? not much going on, bunch of older guys hitting on me on manhunt with pictures of their balls as profile pictures, oh boy. I have been looking tho, and hanging out with ethan a lot. Sometimes i wonder if im going down the same road with him as i did with Gabert? but i dont feel the attraction really, we just laugh a lot.

I have been working a lot and its starting to worry me that its getting in the way of my school work because i have to drop what im doing and run every time someone comes in. But i finally have money and I dont want to give up such a cake job, but in the time it has taken me to write this quick post i have been interrupted about 12 times. nuts right? but oh well, its college ill just stay up later and drink more coffee!!

But I do want to say, i'm feeling better. I was feeling kind of morose the last month but i think it was just acclimating back into my normal grind of not having a life. that and not having someone too haha btu i hope all you guys are doing well :) Shoot me an email if ya guys want, those have helped so much the last month i love hearing from all of you :D

Cheers
Max

stress relief

2011-10-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to find some better ways to do stress relief, i've tried yoga but im just not flexible enough for that :/ Meditating is alright but it doesnt relieve the actual muscle pain I get from being stressed out all the time. If you guys have any ideas I'd love to hear them! Lately i've just been busy workign and schooling, the normal digg.

I accidentally sold my tv, and by accidentally I mean a buddy told me he would sell me his for 300 so I sold mine at a quick 250 and then he changed his mind. Soooo now I dont have a TV :/ Which is alright because I dont watch TV all that often but last night it would have been exceptionally handy. There is a guy whom I was introduced to freshman year named kevin, hes a nice guy but kinda socially awkward. He is a pilot doing quite well for himself teaching until he has enough hours to be picked up by an airline. but as far as personalities go we dont have a ton in common :/ Hes a nice guy and educated so I gave him a chance last night and it was....kind of a disaster.

He came over for some drinks just for a couple hours and in the span of that time managed to say as little as possible. I understand there are some people who just arent into conversation that much but when two people are stuck in a room together for a certain period time you tend to at least try. By the end of the whole thing I had drank half a bottle of scotch just out of awkwardness which i'll admit may have been the highlight of my evening. such is life though.

Now im just catching up with homework and working. Boooooring. I hope your all doing well!!
Max

spinning

2011-09-28T00:32:00.000-05:00

Well my heads still spinning a little, just got back from a date haha. Hes a nice guy named justin who is going to school for hairstyling (cliche #1). Hes a cute guy but a foot shorter than me :/ I'm gonna give him a go because hes the only guy with enough balls to ask me out. And I hope hes a top because if we're both bottoms? bad news bears. I dont know what it is but i'm just not a top guy.

I was at work and I had talked to this guy last year but at some point he just stopped talking to me. Well he commented on my change in photos on manhunt and then realized he'd hit on me before haha but he bought dinner so I guess I can't complain. Hes a cute guy, 5 years older than me :/ Aaaaaand does drag (cliche #2). I don't know what it is but drag queens LOVE me. I have a now friend who was interested in me but just wasnt my type who was also into me. Idk, I understand they like it, and I support it, but its nothing im into doing myself. His drag name is Prada Dior.

We'll see how this all pans out! Movie date next time I think. could be fun

Cheers
Max

Skint to rent

2011-09-27T18:45:00.001-05:00

Got paid today! fuck yeah, worked too much last week though I'm glad my schedule is normalizing now so I can work halfday on saturday and get two days off a week and work only 15 hours during the week so im not so overwhelmed. I dont have any tests this week which means all my spare time can be devoted to building this speak-upp site! Yay! If ANYBODY out there has any web design experience or can even point me in the right direction I would appreciate it SO MUCH. I only have ideas of what I wanna do with the site not how to get there haha. I want to have a forum, podcast page, and youtube account linked up with the site along with kind of a blog feel but separate from eachother so that you can kind of choose your medium of media.

Otherwise I have just been schoolin, had another TPS meeting and finally got a ton of emails so I can get the content for this site up and running, now I just need a site! Beyond the emails it was a pretty lame night for the club, business as usual and social hour was lame because all the socially inept or awkward kids were there. And out of the blue a guy I went to highschool with was there. It didnt surprise me all that much that he was there but at the same time I was a little worried he was going to text all his little buddies at home I was there. The way I know him even though he is an underclassmen is that he was enamored with me in high school band because I was lead trumpet. hes a nice kid, but he came in a cheesy hawaiian shirt with shaving creme onhis face, i think he may be a little green to the gay scene for me. That and I just havent been able to find anyone who can keep a good conversation with me. even now im texting some dud from fargo who can't respond with anything more than a one word answer. Aaaand I was blunt and said if he wanted to text thats cool but im not looking for a hookup so text me if you want something real. And he hasnt responded in a helf hour, surprise surprise...

North dakota is wearing thin on me too fast these days, i Need a man. eff

Hope everyone is doing well!
Cheers
Max

Oh and PS, i got a request for nudes. And the answer is no, but I'm flattered you'd wanna see this haha. Maybe some better face pics eventually. Or you can creep on manhunt to find me but no hints :D

spa weekend? lame sauce

2011-09-26T00:17:00.000-05:00

Well i had one HELL of a week last week and just needed a little mental health time. Got a 55% on my neuro after thinking i had done well. Fuckin awesome. so I went home and got some r&r, saw the boys and had some fun. Needed that in a big way. Unfortunately I set aside saturday to get new shoes and hang out with my parents and they bailed. Wait. My parents bailed on me? WTF? yeah, good weekend start. but oh well, never got the shoes but got a good weekend of de-stressing in which I really needed. But now I need to OWN my classes cause I have to get a good GPA this semester.

and n top of that? still sad and alone. Im slowly realizing my posts are turning really whiney. Are they? comment below lemme know!

Been playing the network game and I think I found a guy who can hook it up with microphones which is bomb for this new site. The blue snowflake I have works well but if im going to be investing in a new site and all that jazz minus well make sure my audio and content is crisp and clean. this is actually the first thing which has gone my way in regards to the site, that and finding a logo finally (an idea at least). what do you guys think? Its goofy but

I like the light feeling that is has and its kind of a play off of the "Speak Up" group from the early eighties when the saying was speak up or die. It was a HIV awareness group and I want this site to have a more active political feel. Its pretty obvious what the standings are but it needs to but emphasis on the fact that we deserve equality and not just deserve, but demand it. At least thats the feel I wanna go for. I need to drum up some content from my fellow gays here at school so tomorrow at the tps meeting I'm going to send a notebook around with contact info if they want to do a recording. I hope the kids here can see what kind of help this would be to the rural gays here. Anyways ill leave with that. I hope you guys are all doing ok!

Cheers
Max

well

2011-09-19T23:24:00.000-05:00

its been an interesting couple of days. Got a new job last thursday and ove it. Hours galore, bonus's and tips. And I can study during the down time. Unfortunately its a head shop which comes with its own rap. Aaaaaand I cut my finger on some glass and got my first stitches. 10 of em on my left middle finger. not fun. I am extremely overwhelmed with school, work, research, and this site but! I have a new logo and a site name, speak-upp.com. its based off those speak up groups in the mid 80's who said "speak up or die" when faced with the HIV/Aides epidemic. The new site will still have the activism goal but with a youtube channel and podcast and a forum is I can figure out how to design and code that haha. To be honest I have no idea what im doing but I'll figure it out!

Got two tests on wednesday so you probably wont hear a whole ton from me until after then. Hope everyone is doing well!

Max

50!

2011-09-17T23:18:00.003-05:00

I have 50 followers! Yay!! Ill post tomorrow :) night bloggosphear :)

Weird new things

2011-09-17T00:33:00.000-05:00

Well I finally got a job...at a head shop.No not a shady little hole in the wall its a legit place but its tearing through any free time I had before. And it is the first place where I have ever been afraid to tell someone I'm gay. I'm the new guy, they rarely hire and when they do its on recommendation like I got from my buddy Justin who was the head chef at the museum I worked at. The job is a cake walk, I watched tron today and I can study on the weekends but I JUST startes yesterday and im opening on sunday alone. Kind of intimidating but i'll get through it some how.

The only thing is only three guys (including me) work there so I have a ton of hours coming my way. Add school, lab, and hw to that equation and i'm going to have no life. I'm trying to work tue, thur, fri, sat, sun for now but one guy is taking off for 8 days so Ill be working open to close this weekend, and 5-10 mon, tue, thur next week. I get friday off because I get to go home to get my truck and the washer and dryer for my house! yay for laundry abilities!!

besides that I dont have a whole ton of things going on. TPS (ten percent society) is doing their annual gay camping trip and im missing it because I have work and no money to go :( I could be getting laid right now :( but speaking of which, a guy wh hit me up through manhunt last year is talking to me again and hes a nice guy. I hope we can become something more than friends but he is super duper in the closet because he is on the swim team here and doesnt wanna deal with that (which I understand) but maybe there is potential? I have to keep reminding myself not to take things fast because I have been so lonely lately its really nice to talk to someone a bit. We talk about non dirty and dirty things so thats super fun as well :) hes just very skiddish, maybe once I get him to chill with me he'll realize there is nothing to be afraid of. I just picture hookah, a couple beers and some mad men and we'll be rolling around making out :) hopefully soon

And this goes out to AEK! Thanks for reading bud and maybe I can get some help from you on neurology? I have an exam next week on basic electro-phisiology in the brain, maybe you can help me out? shoot me an email :)

and also i'm thinking about holding a competition for the logo for my internet site im going to start! I have gotten a few emails interested in the concept through the blog so I thought maybe id open it up to you guys to bounce some ideas off of? gotta get some branding power here so the more the merrier :)

Hope everyone is doing well, feel free to email me at maxingrandforks@gmail.com or drop anything you like in the formspring!!

Cheers
Max

Abba is the road to my heart

2011-09-13T18:02:00.000-05:00

Just keep thinking of the song "Money Money Money" by abba because i've been so broke while I have been trying to get a job for real in grand forks. I thought the economy wasnt supposed to hit this town that hard!? I cannot get a job on campus to save my life. I may be able to get a job at this place on the other side of town but I have to have a vehicle for that. My landlord just cashed two months worth of rent which I was not expecting to have happen so my account is way over and I have nothing coming in until thursday and even then I dont know if that'll cover it.

Dire days these are I may have to go to my parents as much as I hate doing it. Its not a pride thing at all, my parents are just very tight fisted and dont help me a lot in the first place so trying to get more than they already "gave me" is always a battle which they make so much more emotional than they should. I think im going to return a pair of jeans and get the cash from em. My mom got for me so i'm afraid they wont give me anything but store credit which does me no friggin good. Just frustrating when you have expenses and nothing coming in because you can't get a damn job. Money has been the limiting factor on me not being able to go out as well so its been a huge pain in my ass. I just wonder what wellsfargo will do if I just leave it negative haha. Oh and fuck my credit card payment is due too! fawk, just remembered that. damn now I got about 200 bucks to make appear. shitty.

Its especially difficult to get a job when you have no car or bike. I would have a bike but its destroyed and I have no way to get it from the bike and ski shop because I dont have my truck. I need to do some thinking about this situation. You guys got suggestions? leave em in the comments or email me

Monday Monday...go f@#k yourself

2011-09-12T12:48:00.000-05:00

I have chem in 10 minutes so this will be an abridged version of my weekend...NOTHING HAPPENED. Me and Ethan were supposed to go try and see the northern light now that we knew you couldnt just go see them at 2 in the morning, they peak about 10-11p m and fade off quite quickly. But alas after work he went to a party and got drunk, bailing on our plans. Now personally I had set aside my night thinking I was gonna see some cool shit. Even bought new batteries for my camera. But etyhan bailed and because of his recent emotional issues I couldnt bring myself to come down on him like I would with just about anybody else. Should I have? idk

Then the next day I peer pressured him into giving me a ride to get groceries and do laundry at the SHADIEST little laundromat. Nobody was attending it and most of the machines were in gross disrepair. I ended up loosing 1.50 in quarters to a dryer and had to have ethan run me home to get more since there were none in his car. And after all that and an hour of drying, not even remotely close to drying. So I had to call over to 409 and see if I could dry my shit there. I could of course but it bugs me I have to call since when I went over there and confronted gabert about me getting some of the money I had thrown at the house TV, he basically said go fuck yourself. So now I have no qualms about going over there and doing my laundry whenever I damn well feel. I was peer pressured to ever even go in on the tv in the first place. Bullshit.

ANyways besides homework and me being anal and organizing everything, didnt really do much. Have a pretty busy week this week so I have to stay on top of everything and my schedule which fills up moe by the minute. Wish I had a bike to get around on! Soon enough I hope.

Hope your all well! email me or formspring me!
Cheers
Max

Grand Funk

2011-09-10T19:32:00.000-05:00

So I have been in one weird funk this last week, if you have been following my twitter feed at all. I have had my highs and lows including toms craziness but last night and this morning it has started to get to me. I missed home, I missed my friends and slowly came to realize that the guys I had last year, the crowd I usually run with? Is gone. I'm no longer apart of their worlds as they have seemingly cut me out. I was hoping although we would be at a distance this year, they would still call and text when they do some stuff. I guess if anybody was to drop out of the group it would be me, i never really fit in. But i had to do it! As much as it pains me to say this, my education is more important to me than them!!! and it truly does pain me to say it though

And in the end I keep thinking, if they wanted to be involved they would be trying as hard as I am? IDK I hate trying to decipher the thoughts or intentions of another party. LIke last night, at about 1. I had been home all evening because as a friendless guy I had very little to do :/ I skyped with my parents a little earlier and told them how stressed I was and they were of course supportive but the whole time I was guarded why I was at tom short. I told them the jewish student organizations and muslim student organization was there too to make it look like I wasnt there just with the ten percent society but i think they caught on. SOmetimes I wonder if they know about me...

But where was I, oh right I was at last night at 1 finally. Ethan called me up asking if I wanted to go out and see if there were northern lights and I said yes. I had been cooped up all night and was feeling lonely so I of course went. He comes and picks me up, and we head out and we grab gas and he ends up getting 45 dollars in gas! So i bought him snacks and a drink to pay him back. Then we were off, And the whole time i'm thinking we are going out to have fun but in the car he tells me again about how he misses his ex and how he wants to get back with him but he knows he doesnt want him. I was not angry but bummed that I couldnt go out and just have a fun night and instead had to play therapist :/ we never did get to see the northern lights, got too late :/

So this is a prime example of how I had no idea what intentions are meant for the night. While I did end up having a lovely time with him, it was not what I expected after getting excited to go out after feeling friendless and lonely all night. And that really hit me this morning.

Ethan is my only real gay friend and officially my closest friend in grand forks and im just a big tissue dispensar for him. This may seem calous and rude but you have to understand, Its not like I have been friends with this guy forever and its just kind of friend duty to listen and lend a shoulder, this has been the substantial basis of our friendship up until now. This along with being overwhelmed with school already, missing my friends and family at home, and being just alone the past few weeks hit me and I cried for the first time in a LONG time. I dont think I've cried like that since freshman year when I got overwhelmed. I cried because I want to hug my mom and have arms around me, because there is nobody willing to do that for me here in grand forks. I cried because this school year started and remained on a shitty foot since my accident. I cried because I wanna go home, and this is only a month in. I just cried and thought "how pathetic. He can't make it in the world. Worthless."

Ethan was playing therapist this time lending only the kindest of words but I need to be talked to a different way to get out of that downward spiral. I wish I could have talked to my dad but there was no way to hide that im gay the way my feelings were intertwined with the issues. So before I really started crying I texted and called a good friend whom used to blog on here and has been a fantastic friend to me. He offered his advice as an older guy and made me feel a little better. But as soon as I was off the phone with him I lost it and just cried for the next couple hours. I didnt stop until i was in the shower to go to work and open the doors at 1. it was both cathartic and pathetic to just get it out. I just hope this doesnt become a regular thing. Cause this is one morning but every morning? Now that s a grand funk.

I hope you guys are doing well and having a great weekend, i think me, ethan, and a couple other guys are planning on going to see if we cant find the northern lights again. But if Nathan, ethan's ex is there, im gonna scream.

Cheers
Max

Tom short parte dos

2011-09-09T23:20:00.000-05:00

This, Ladies and gentlemen, is the face of Tom Short. He has been a guest to our campus and we have been there as a community to protest him every step of the way. He is a fundamentalist christian and a straight up goof ball. And not in a good way. Tom came to campus yesterday and we were there to protest him. He berated us and some other people who talked back to him. He openly invites people to talk back to him so he can suck them into his little world where he plays god. The TPS did not do as much as they should have yesterday and today I took things into my hands a little bit. I brought my mic and my camera out and recorded avery moment of his tirade. And now I have four hours of audio and some video and no idea what to do with all of it.

Should I make a youtube video? how do you cram 4 hours into a 10 minute video? I have waaaaay more than 10 minutes of video! I think i'm going to make a youtube video but also make a special one and send it to the campus president with a letter from the tps showing him what is being said on his campus. I'm sure Nathan will puss out or say its

inappropriate but I believe the president of the campus is the face of the campus and it is his duty to deal with PR things such as this. Because lets be honest here, hes the president of a business, not some magical fairyland where he is king. And us, the investors, aren't pleased.

The fact of the matter it is his first amendment right to be there, but this is dangerously close to hate speech so I need to prove he is spreading hate (which isn't too difficult). He spreads hate about gays, muslims, jews, catholics, pretty much everybody not white and christian according to his interpretation. But another student group, H2O, is a student group affiliated with cottonwood community church here in grand forks. They are the ones paying for him not only to come out here but put him up while he is here. I'm looking into H2O's charter to see if I can find a loophole to make sure he can't come back and spew his hate but i'm not to knowledgable in there areas, if there is a lawyer out there willing to leave their professional opinion or email it to me that would be phenomenal!!

Till then i'm going to weed through all of this audio and try to isolate the good stuff. I need to find good video editing software for the future but for now I think im just use iMovie and hope it doesnt fuck me, or if it does it does it the right way ;) Apparently there was a girl at the protest to day who was waaay into me which has never happened to me haha i've never really had anyone interested in me im always the pursuer. Too bad im playing for the other team:/ Why won't the boys come after me!!! there were so many cute ones at the protest today me and ethan just picked out the ones we liked over lunch and talked about it haha

On the front with my accident, im dealing with the insurance right now but I really need a mode of transportation. With my bike dead I have nothing but my good ol' hooves to get around but my knees are giving me hell so i'm going

to call the insurance company tomorrow and see if we can settle on my bike, I got my estimate on my bike back and they said it was unfit to be repaired so I need a new one. Good and bad news, i get the cash for a new bike but i poured my heart into my old one and now its gone and i'll never recoup the time spent building it or the special custom modifications. we'll see what the come to the table with but the closest thing the bike shop could think of to my bike was the trek 2.1, google it its a beautiful bicycle. Almost as pretty as my old one :(

Anyways, i'm off to work on this raw footage and audio I have, formspring or email me people I love to hear from you all!!!
Cheers
Max

I Never do this but..

2011-09-08T19:30:00.001-05:00

I thought I would share this with you all. I am obsessed with Skrillex. OBSESSED.

Tom Short

2011-09-08T18:25:00.001-05:00

Ok so the guy who was coming to campus to speaks name is Tom Short, not Tom Love. He was here and I was out there with my "Don't be h8in on the homos" shirt because we were supposed to wear purple to support ourselves. There was a pretty fierce group of evangelical christians out there supporting tom many who gave us dirty looks and boo'd us at times. But we were there with our rainbow flags, tps signs, and christus rex sign (they host our club) and the news showed up this year, and the reporter was obviously gay. So we got some good air time and support from the local news station which is always a step in the right direction :)

On the other hand Jamie was there which was kind of awkward since I havent contacted him about fucking this year (cause I want something real, ya know?) Apparently he has broken up with his bf in canada and had a new boy over the summer. I think I can do better so i'll let him be but it was the most time we have ever spent together with all of our clothes on. Kinda sad haha.

Also the student body president was out to see what was going on along with a couple other people from student gov so I got to introduce myself and let them know I will probably be running for student senate this semester. All I need are 25 honors signatures in order to be placed on the ballot so I hope I Can drum up support there and maybe win a seat!!!

I'm still trying to drum up support for my site to get content but now nathan is trying to do a youtube channel. WHich although is a good idea, would take up so much more time to construct, edit, and all that jazz. Plus the cost of a camera and all that it would be a heafty lil start up. Idk if i can get this thing off the ground if i dont find some social gays here somewhere!

I have no food, im cooking my last chicken breast and dont know where my next meal is comign from, probably rice. oh college, the stories you give us to tell...

I hope your all doing well!
Cheers
Max

Moleskin?

2011-09-06T18:28:00.000-05:00

I have so much going on its crazy, and i'm waiting for it all to hit me as I get busier and busier. I dont even have time to get groceries anymore! not that being without transportation helps that. This last weekend was awesome, got to go to the fair, see reese whom i miss dearly, and see my family. But alas it ended all to quickly and here I am again at my desk procratinating on doing my homework. Its not like I have a ton of homeowrk I just dont have the motivation to get myself to do it. Anybody have any tips?

I've been feeling more and more alone lately just because i'm so busy I dont get to see anyone! it doesnt help moving out jsut because I could always just go sit in someone else's room and read or chill which doesnt happen in my new house too much. Mostly jsut because we dont have the space but im thinking i'll get a love seat for my room and bait my roommates in with a candy dish or something...is it sad im working this hard just to get people to hang out with me? idk anymore

I am still trying to figure out how to get hosting and design a site the way I want to. There are so many resources out there that idk who to go with nd what advice to take! a lot fo these places are just trying to drum money out of me for products i probably wont use but man there is so much to get going. Again im having trouble getting the motivation to get all that done and then try to network and find people willing to record. I think I have to get a couple more meetings in at the ten percent society before I can be asking these kids to come record some deep shit with someone they barely know. Agh so much to do!!!

So because my blogging has gotten so behind with what I want to say and what I remember to say when I get to the comp, im now carrying around a little moleskin notebook to write down ideas and things I want to discuss, hopefully this will help streamline this blog which has slowly turned into an all over the place discussion which seems to be going nowhere. Are you guys out there? I wonder some times. Sans AEK I dont get a lot of feedback so im just gonna keep trucking and assume ya guys are out there :)

Hope everyone is doing well!
Cheers!
Max

Labor day

2011-09-04T11:26:00.000-05:00

Hey all, sorry I haven't written in a couple days but it seems like readership is down a lil so I hope there arent too many people out in the cold haha I have just been schooling and getting ready for this long weekend. I drove down on friday after class, hit a ton of traffic because of construction paired with a high volume of traffic turned a 4.5 hour drive into a 6 hour drive. Which is an even bigger deal when all you have to look at is dead grass and the AC in your truck doesnt work IE me. Despite that I made it down just fine and got to see some buddies that night. We just smoked and played xbox but I really wanted to watch the cell.

The cell is a pretty fucked up movie but it still both interesting and very visually stimulating. The movie is based around a serial killer (the guy from law and order svu and the bug from men in black) who has some strange mental disorder which drives him to kill women in the strangest way. He kidnappes them and puts them in a cell which gradually fills with water. While this is all happening he records it. The police are about to catch up to him and find he has had a major episode and is catatonic. So amazingly Jennifer Lopez is a social worker who works with a billionaires son who has the same disease so they delve deep into his subconscious. Its a really good film but if you are drunk or high its even more weird and interesting haha this is what my weekends have been reduced to.

I have been thinking a lot about this site for rural gays, another ND gay support group has shown interest in supporting my podcast and internet site so it's looking like this will be a go! I just need to devote a little time every week in order to build the site, get the key wording right, and learn how to get good organis SEO. I'm new to all of this so if there is a reader out there familiar with online site building and design please email me! I just want to ask some questions because online guides are great but i have some specific questions before I start up. So if your out there please email me at maxingrandforks@gmail.com

Last night I went over to jerrys and we played night frisbee with a led lit frisbee. It was a blast and slowly turned into contact frisbee and some people got fat lips or kneed in the jaw but all in all it was a blast. Today me and jerry are going to the fair so i'll take some pictures of the world famous minnesota state fair for you who are not familiar with it! That is if my mom and sister ever get going, I have to get somethings for school while im down here. and I got new glasses, i'll post a picture of them when I get a chance! I hope everyone is having a nice relaxing holiday weekend :)

Max

A new planner is in order

2011-08-30T17:41:00.000-05:00

So last night I went to the 10% society meeting and presented my idea for a new internet site, something based around a podcast but reaching out to people who don't have a network. Got a lot of positive responses and about 4 emails to pursue in getting both content and help getting the site up. I'm thinking at this rate we can be up and running this coming spring and I hope everything works out as planned. The group was actually a blast and a good balance between males and females. Ethan, a good friend of mine showed up despite his very recent ex being the president of the club. I guess im signed up to go camping with the group now which could be fun, but im more excited because Tom Love, a fundamentalist christian right wing nut job is coming to campus to preach his hate. I pushed to invite the president of the campus down to see our silent protest and to listen to some of toms hate speech. But alas, the president of the club backed out even though we arent funded by the university and dont eve have space rented from them but instead we work in donated space from a close by Lutheran church. Instead we are addressing the campus administration as a whole to come down and support us in our silen protest. We'll see how it turns out.

After the meeting we all went out to dinner at a local truck stop where they have cheap yet surprisingly good food. I got to chat with all the members who came out and they asked me a bunch of questions about my opinions on certain issues like marriage and also just about ym life and coming out. I made it very clear I hadnt come out to my parents so if they are added as fb friends they cant be posting on my wall about stuff:/ There was one kid in particular, brian i think his name was, who was sooooo cute. He just sat there the whole night listening and laughing at all the jokes. Hes a year below me and a real shy kid so I could see him being a little taken aback by my strong personality. but I hope to get to know him and maybe ask him out at some point. I have to say it was REALLY nice to go out with people who were like me, not wondering if i asked someone out whether they would get angry because they dont "swing" the same way I do. It was relaxing and so organic to talk to all of them, I look forward to the next meet.

After wards I just went out with ethan and we drove around for about two hours while I helped him work through some of the issues hes dealing with being broken up with. Get this, the guy he was seeing, the president of TPS (Ten Percent Society), dumped him the day after they had jsut gotten back together after a long summer. Apparently they had a very intimate night so there was no reason for Ethan to expect himt o break up with him the next day. Hes pretty shaken up about it and I dont blame him after the long train of abusive relationships he has been in. Hopefully he'll start feeling better here soon. Its weird to listen to his insecurities though because hes about 6 foot, cute, and ripped like fuck. He also well endowed so if i were him I would have said "fuck you, on to the next guy" but i guess he thought this guy was going to be a bit more of a permanent fixture and he flaked. Sucks but the most he can do now is move on.

Anyways, got up this morning and did some lab work, finally got an offer for a lab position so i'll be doing so light lab work this semester and then next semester i will get credit. After that, this summer I get a salary job to work in the lab!! it means I have to stay in gf (which I detest the thought of) but I would get published before I graduate from my undergrad which would be huge for my career. So i guess I bite the bullet again and have to commit to work instead of an actual r&r summer. Sucks but hey, thats life.

Hope everyone is doing well! Drop any questions you can think of in the formspring slot or email me!! I always love hearing from you guys :)
Cheers
Max

Lets get involved shall we?

2011-08-28T20:56:00.000-05:00

I have been trying to get out there and show my opinions for quite some time now. Heck I use my blog to do it so I'm sure you all are abundantly aware. I just want to be able to either share or help people who stop through, and I hope you guys glean something of interest or something helpful from this blog. I have had an interesting weekend and its putting a lot on my plate but we'll see how it goes. With classes not in full swing yet im not yet sure how much free time I will have for all im trying to take on but we will see soon.

So friday was nothing special, just chilling with the guys from 409 (where I lived last year for any new readers or those who forgot) played some video games and eventually went out to a lil house aprty where I met some...interesting people. One guy in particular was from New York, Drunk, and VERY opinionated which made for an interesting evening of drinking and socializing.

Saturday morning I got a text from my friend Ben inviting me to a drag show he was in! I was aware there were a few drag shows in town but I didnt know where they were ever. Turns out they are 21 plus so I had to do a job relating to the show to even get in so they made me work the spotlight. I have never worked with one before and it was kind fun but really hot. It also left me very separate from the crowd which is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I only met one guy and it was on my way out which was a bummer, and even then it was super awkward because he called me by my manhunt profile name. I had no idea who he was so I was kind of glad to be leaving at that point but the entire show was a blast! Those queens worked their tits off and it paid because the show was fabulous with a capital F. I will definitely go to their all ages show.

Today I worked at the museum and it turned out to be the first student senate meeting for the campus. After listening to the whole thing I realized this is right up my ally. So I am researching running for a seat as the honors department student senator. I am a little worried that this, 14 credits, this new gay networking page, and research may be a little too much for me to handle but we wont know until I try. I think it'll be alright because this networking site would be a longterm project so the hours put into making that a go would be very plyable. We'll see if it is even a possibility tomorrow at our 10% society meeting. I'll be talking about it there and seeing if anybody would want to join in on the project. Wish me luck!!

Hope everyone is well and hopefully not as busy as I am. Where'd my "me time" go?!?!?!
Cheers
Max

LIKE A PHEONIX FROM THE FLAMES

2011-08-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

So as quickly as Brohaus Broadcast descended, a new podcast may emerge. As i'm back at school I realize there is no real gay community here. I know we are out in the middle of nowhere but there are just as many gays here as there would be at any small conservative school in the midwest. MY aim is to open a site to network these kids centered around a college podcast of kids who talk about issues and their experiences. Its in its development but I am meeting with the campus 10% society (the only gay organization on campus) to discuss who would be interested in recording with me and the logistics of this site, if there is funding available in oder to procure hosting. I don't want this to develop into an only UND club, I want this to be a gay university student outreach program. There are kids who are getting to college and have never experienced or experimented with their sexuality and should have some resource besides doctors and counselors because that can be intimidating or awkward for a kid.

Since i'm here another two and a half years, its more than enough time to get established and get some content. My plan is to launch this coming spring semester so we can get some people involved and raise money. If we do well enough I'll work this summer to get recordings and brand this club even further. Again on the list I need to get a logo and make a name. Once I have done that we can prepare content and get ready to launch. We'll see how well this goes including two jobs, research, and fourteen credits. Oofta!!! <----The most minnesotan thing you'll ever hear me say...

If you guys have any suggestions or recommendations i'm of course always open to it! I still have my twitter feed and formspring running so if you dont want to post a comment get at me there, and if you dont know those systems or would prefer, email me at maxingrandforks@gmail.com

Cheers
Max

TGIF

2011-08-26T14:24:00.000-05:00

Its not like I had a very long week because upperclassmen get monday off, but somehow Friday always feels a lil different. huh. Anyways, im done at 2 which is bomb if I ever need to drive home or anything like that. If not it just means I can have an end of the week beer that much longer. NO im not having 12 beers just one. Why? Cause im done. For two whole days.

Classes this semester shouldnt be too bad, no math!!! But the first week is really busy tying down jobs and getting ready for the semester to kick into gear, once the grind kicks in ill be in a good place. I have the museum job from last year but 4 hours a week is not going to cut it so I am picking up another on campus job. I have a funky schedule with all my classes crammed into midday so its hard for me to get another cooking job. SO I went for the library circulation/office asst. category and had a few bites, an interview but no job because of my schedule. NOw im kind of throwing my chips at a new opening in the honors dept. I am good friends with the director and they need an office assistant so maybe I can fenagle my schedule into working there. Cross your fingers for me! they are going to contact me today or monday about an interview which would be sill because I know diane really well haha

I got a couple questions from my last post i'll answer quick. Jamie and I just haven't talked yet, hes been in school for a couple weeks now (grad students start sooner) and I have been balls busy with getting my shit together for this semester. I guess once I have time to be horny ill try and get ahold of him but if he doesnt wanna anymore I wouldnt be heartbroken. I mean the lay is alright (hes doesnt last all that long haha) but I guess im ready for something a little more serious now. There are cute boys aplenty up here and its shirt off weather (yuuuuuuuum) but there really arent many gays up here and im not the kind of guy who is gonna get the ripped little thing so I'm just playing the field for now I guess. I dont come off gay so its hard for me to ever meet people, not entirely sure how to deal with that yet.

11 am is a late start but i scheduled it that way! I might have to take an 8 am class next semester which wouldnt be horrible since im getting up at 8:30-9 and just re-reading shit or doing chores anyways. You guys should see how late some of the people in my new house sleep. OH shit I have to do introductions still!!! I'll make a separate post for that.

I'm going into genetics because I love learning about all the little pieces and how they construct us. Breaking stuff down to the most simple level then building up is how i learn best as well so this is a subject i pick up with some relative ease (at least compared to calc or chem). there is no flashy explosions or growing of mutants but in the future there will be so much medicine built around genetics I feel like its a good career choice. If I could have any career? Its kind of a toss up between a writer/director and resturanteer/venture capitalist. I love movies and i love breaking them down and inserting my own thoughts and ideas. I like thinking about music or things I see and how I would incorperate them in film or even base a film off of them, but thats a tough market to break into and idk if i would have the chops to do so. But i love cooking and I love may different types of food so owning a few Restaurants and promoting and investing others would be something I could see myself doing, unfortunately you need quite a bit of start up cash and some luck to make the leap between Restaurant owner and venture capitalist, right?

And on lab coats, the ones they had at the book store were lame as balls. Pin stripped and had restricting sleeves that were like six inches long. I'm going to look online for something a little more towards what I need. We arent working with any really dangerous chemicals and I need full range of motion to pipe stuff and keep things organized. SO soon hopefully :)

Hope you guys are all well and i'd love to hear from you guys. I got twitter, formspring and email all running so if you have any questions or comments I would love to her them!!

Cheers
Max

Another first

2011-08-23T23:07:00.001-05:00

Another first day of school. You never really remember the first day but you always remember the last. Your either tired from finals, tired of waiting for spring, or tired of the people your living with. Your always tired, even of waiting for the grades to come out, good or bad. But right now im awake, waiting for tiredness to come for another day of school. To do something and lear, hopefully grow but not in weight. There is something I have a lot of, hope for tomorrow to go better then today, to find a boy :)

But until then you have your good days and bad days, same as ever. I had my first class at 11 o'clock, late enough not to be able to complain about being tired but still tired none the less. Comm 110, an honors class so instead of being lax and letting us turn in our speeches as videos, we have to do them in front of the class. I have no qualm with giving speeches but I do get very antsy when I have to sit through a bad one. I know it is rude considering some people just don't like that kind of thing, heck most dont...but still. College classes, especially honors ones, are built around people who have more respect for their fellow student than some of the mainstream classes might. Its going to be a long semester.

I headed over to the museum after stopping to print off an application. We have to reapply every year because of work study which is alright but this whole key debacle is nuts. THey gave me keys to the building last year (actually I kept them from the summer before) but no code which turns off security. SO basically the only thing I can do is wait until the security goes offline a half hour before the museum open on the weekends, then unlock the doors. I'm working catering as well but those jobs are few and far in between. I'm thinking about doing one weekend day each weekend and getting another job which works with my research. BUt till then idk what to do, im afraid ill overload myself with the research and everything. I'll have to go to the interviews on friday because nyssa is coming up tomorrow from moorhead to visit, she has a blog and is one of my followers go find her!!!(i cant think of her profile name right now...dont hate me)

I had biomolecular techniques right after and jess was there saving me a seat. Me and her have had at least one class together for every semester since college started. Basically we got eachothers back in class incase one of us has to dip or cant show for one reason or another. She also has a tattoo of a x-wing on her ankle which about makes her my favorite. I still cant remember if she knows im gay or not but it doesnt really matter, shes so chill im not worried about it. The professor is a great guy and im looking forward to learning advanced genetic manipulation and identification from someone like dr rhen. He is very enthusiastic and a good teacher, as long as I keep up with the reading. I always start strong but fade halfway through a semester. I'm working on it.

Me and jess got smoothies after class (how trendy? Not) which were ok, hers was waaaay better then mine. too much mango is a bad thing unfortunately. Found an old friend who frequented my old house and chatted a bit, me and jess exchanged schedules because we have to do a certain amount of outside lab work for bio this way we could go together and not be bored at all. I GET TO GET A LAB COAT!!!! I know I shouldnt be so excited but i really am. I want one of those little three color triangles which are behind the safe zone pictures, but as a pin for my coat. I think just that on the lab coat would be awesome.

After that I had band in which I had to inform my conductor because I had been in that accident and screwed up my neck I wouldnt be able to play at my full potential. I know it probably wont affect my placement but band is one of my only fun classes and I am actually very competitive for my seat. I'm nothing spectacular on my trumpet but i know hot to lead my section and tactfully critique them. On the other hand there are only 5 trumpets (including me) in the section which is horribly low. Other sections are just fine but for some reason we came up reaaal short this semester. Hope it wasnt my fault.

After that my night has been even more mundane, went and got pita pit (like subway with pita instead of bread) and they offer breakfast, my favorite meal, all damn day. I got a morning glory pita and headed over to 409 to check out who was there. I chilled with al for just a little bit but they have cut me way out of the circle, almsot completely. I knew we wouldnt all be super close if i wasnt there but i didnt think it would be as bad as it is. THey cut me out of a canada trip which ive been wanting for a long time so, ouch i guess but i cant take it too seriously. Keeping my cool hoping seth and i fly around would make up for it.

When i left there i came home and I have been piddling around on my computer, reading up on you guys and poking around. I'm still trying to come up with branding for brohaus but im still looking for someone who can talk well and compliment me well. I have a few people in mind so we'll see where this goes. Im thinking one of the guys in student government working for the GSA would be a good fit so we can incorporate me being gay more heavily in the conversations. ALthough it isnt what I want to have dominate the conversation, perhaps a 1 girl 5 gys podcast version would be good for us americans since the canadians seem to have it figured out check "1 girl 5 gays" out at that ink, they have been an interesting group to watch and is the closest ill get to watching a soap haha.

We'll see, I want to get a logo going before I even start thinking about starting up again, I need to get one foot out infront of the other, no more of this by the seat of my pants shit i have become so accustomed to these days. Tomorrow is another day and Nyssa shows up after class so probs no post tomorrow but soon!
Cheers
Max

A "Smashing" Experience

2011-08-22T18:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I got hit by a car today. HARD. I dont want to go into anything right now just because my bike is destroyed and my neck along with many other things are very screwed up so ill probably have to go to court. All im going to say is it wasnt my fault, sitting in a crowded and very busy hospital for 5 hours blows, and ibuprofen isnt nearly strong enough for the pain im in but they wouldnt give me anything. I hope you guys are having a better day.
Cheers
Max

School again

2011-08-22T11:27:00.000-05:00

Well i'm back at school and i'm very glad to be back on my own again. I needed space and now I have 300 miles of it! I have about 5 interviews this week because as fun as working at the museum has been these last two years, they have been giving me less and less hours and being far too inflexible with their scheduling so I think its time to move on. I'm thinking either delivery guy for the on campus meal center or library, leaning more towards library so I can study haha.

Been partying kinda hard the last two nights but it has been super cool to now go to the parties and then bail when it gets late or the cops show up instead of having to stay and deal. Saw gabert for the first time since last year and hes doing well but he was trashed as well soooo kind of hard to have a conversation. I'm having trouble deciding if the 409 hamline part of my life is over. I miss it in a lot of ways because im not as close to the people im living with now than I am to in 409 but at the same time i think us being that close was bad for dealing with bum roommates and money. Fucking money man I could live the rest of my life with no money as long as I had a way to get around.

This year i'm trying to set some higher goals along with just doing well in school. I went to china when I was in high school and really enjoyed the experience, I want to get out and see more of the world but from a far more realistic viewpoint not this sheltered paid tourism crap. I can appreciate that for what it is but you don't get to see the true culture of any place your in if you have someone leading you around to huge tourists traps where they just try and sell pictures of you to you. Everyone has a camera why do they think that would work? So i'm starting off with babysteps, I'm going to make it to a coast before the end of this school year. And I have been thinking about how I am going to get there, besides saving how should I get there?

One of my old roommates Seth convinced his dad (and I have no idea how) to cosign on a loan for him to buy an airplane. An Airplane?!?! Its one of those smaller four seaters but for 60 bucks per person we could fly as far as the tank will take us. And event hen we can refill and continue. So im going to save what I can and get as far as I can. Any suggestions where to go first? We can head south or west of where I am in Nodak and I would really like to see Portland and southern california. Imagine, flying into San Diego airport for spring break any damn time you want, get to the beach and just chill for a week then leave when we want as well? I'm really hoping this all falls together but if it doesn't I still wanna take a cruise or get to LA just to see SOMETHING!!!

So short term or long term I just need to see some stuff, i'm also planning to go abroad this summer. Jerry and I have been spitballing going to China this summer which would be a blast. His chinese is passable if not a little hickish there but if we can find transportation and order food? who cares. He has family in shang hai so we could use that as a stepping stone toward Xian, where I would ultimately like to end up. But hey, this post is getting a lil long so more on it latter. I hope everyone is doing well!
Cheers
Max

Haiatus

2011-08-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

So, i'm not going on hiatus but after this weeks broadcast on brohaus broadcast im going to pause that project so I can get the branding down and raise some money for hosting. I have everything I need to do a good post except great people to post with and the money to host it with. If by some miracle the money comes through before the sept. 8th deadline maybe i'll keep it running but I need to rethink the length, content, and branding involved in order for it to be an attractive and interesting site for people to visit. I want to entertain while people both learn and discuss their opinions and thats not quite how the broadcast is jiving right now.

Back to my this blog though! this will continue indefinitely because I just like chronicling whats going on in my life and get some outside input on things I dont quite know how to tackle. And just to post and share, hopefully with people who read or at least seek some help because I love to chat with people if you care to get into contact.

I got new glasses, so happy because the nike ones I have right now are good but the lenses are kind of big for my taste and since i am just near sided I have to take them off to type and read which is a bummer because thats about 80% of what I do on a day to day basis during the school year.

What would you guys think about random little youtube videos? not necessarily of me but of me and other things i like? I usually avoid this because i stumble a lot and find a bunch of cool little videos and could see me posting every ten minutes or something. I have a camera which fills up quickly so I could just post snippets throughout my day. and then edit in class haha that would be bad. ANyways I will be going up to school tomorrow so i'll be back on my own to own to blog and vLog all I want, look out for new content and watch the twitter feed between posts for extra shit!!

Cheers
Max

R&R? Doesn't that stand for a railroad crossing?

2011-08-14T14:39:00.000-05:00

Finally have a day off! i'm working uploading the next episode of Brohaus Broadcast which is a real treat i think you guys would enjoy so get on over there and check it out via the link in the right sidebar! I'm having to upgrade my hosting because my episodes are too big which is costing me :/ I love doing the brohaus broadcast but if there isnt any interest in it soon idk how long I can convince myself it is worth the money. The logo is on its way here soon and will definitely help with branding since the current one is pretty 2-D. Anyways, nuff bout that.

I head back up to school this coming friday and I have mixed feelings about it because although I am a little excited to go, I am not prepared at all. I still need:
Boxers (if you were wondering, I am a boxers guy)
Shirts
Socks
New Glasses (I wanted contacts but my parents said no...poop)
toiletries
food
washer and dryer
And I have but 5 days to accomplish all of this while working tue-thur so I am in major crunch time. I hate I have to leave my current job because Amy, the head chef keeps telling me how much she is going to miss me and my stories and everyone else keeps saying it too. Idk what i did but hell if I could channel that through Brohaus Broadcast maybe I could pick up some interest haha

I havent even started looking for books. I'm so behind!!! damn I keep thinking of things I need to procure before I head back up to the barren tundra. I got batteries for my camera I received from Patrick so I will be posting more little pictures I see throughout the day. I'm just wondering how do I drag my camera, phone, and all that junk around all the time? I'll have to find some cool little bag I can schlep them around in or just find a bigger bag I can put my laptop in and just have everything with me. Maybe i'll look for one at the mall today as I scour for cheap boxers and clothes.
Anyways thats all for now, Check out brohaus broadcast because if I can't raise 30 dollars by one month from today it will probably be shut down, hosting for one year costs 30 bucks but I have no money because of school. If you want to donate (which would be cool on a whole new level...) contact me at maxingrandforks@gmail.com

And I leave you with this pic I snapped last night while out to the hookah bar with some friends:

Hope everyone is well

Cheers
Max

Weird week

2011-08-10T13:59:00.001-05:00

so this week I had mon-wed off which is a long week off for me and I haven't had a lot to do with myself. On monday I biked on my new bike, all the way downtown minneapolis with some friends(like 45 miles round trip) so we could get pizza in this cool little hole in the wall called mesa pizza. Its a neat place where they have about a dozen different types of pizza at a given time which you can get to order. They pop it in the oven for about 2 minutes to heat up the melty goodness and its only like 3 bucks a slice which is cheap considering come of the slices are burrito pizza, loaded baked potato pizza, spinach feta and roma tomato pizza (my current favorite). I actually dig the vegetarian pizza more than any other just because you get such a boatload of fresh veggies and cheese which can trump meat for me any day. Plus its healthier, i think...

Then we went to a couple bookstores because I love me some bookstores. First we went to a place called magus which is a bookstore and wicca shop. There were tarot readings going on as I picked out some nice blooming tea for a third the price that they charge at Teavanna. Although I love me some peach and strawberry blooming tes from there, so good!! We checked out some of the other fun stuff there like reading ruins and growing pot and then diped for another little bookshop about a block away, this one selling used books. I looked throught he music section and found a nice little condensed score of Till Eulenspiegels lustige stiche, at least I think thats how you spell it. Its a orchestrated poem about a clown who pranks people, his shenanigans outlined by a rift the horn plays throughout the piece. The clown finally pranks his last prank when he pranks the king and is sentenced to death. The death march is slow and reverent but right at the end is another joke! And we never really know if he is executed or not. Its a favorite piece of mine and its cool to see someone who took theory marked all over it. I then got a cool travel book about China because me and Jerry are planning on going back next summer!!

One of my friends was looking through the philosophy book section and was looking at some mathematical philosophy when a note fell out. Its actually quite hilarious and in pristine condition so I stuck it in one of the books I bought.

(sorry this is as big as blogger will let me make this picture :(
Idk why but it just seemed like a cool little vintage peek into a more personalized time seeing as it has been written on a typewriter. The man in question was 50 in 1982 so that makes him...79 (God my math is horrible). It'd be cool to find the man who owned the book but if it ended up in a used bookstore there is a good chance he wont want it anyways haha.

Yesterday I just worked with my dad on his rental. Monday while I was on my lil adventure my dad and brother were working on sanding a wood floor getting ready to refinish it. My dads side was fine but my brother was gouged and rough as hell. So my job yesterday was to get on my hands and knees for 4+ hours and sand out all of his errors. I think my right knee is still sore from it and my butt hurts from biking so today is going to be a relaxing day before I go back to work tomorrow at 7am. I have to help my mom get the place perfect for her one friend who is coming over which is super lame seeing as she isnt much of a homemaker and always makes us kids do all the work while she has friends over or wants to have the ability to. Free rent is a bitch my friends.

Later im helping a friend sell an iPad2, and if anyone is interested we have one more and are asking 475 for a brand new iPad2 in box (shipping will have to be added) so you'll save 25+ tax on the thing and I guarantee shipping wont overshadow that margine. Our sisters are in the girl scouts and they got enough points two get two of the things so we are trying to help sell them. And if you buy it I will send a full scale yet unreleased logo for Brohaus Broadcast signed by both me and the wonderful artist Jack Kotz who is doing it for me. Not much of an incentive but hey, could be kind of cool.

Speaking of which, we are LIVE ON THE PODCAST NETWORK!!!

Apple approved the blog late last night so I will put a link in this post at the bottom, in the right bar on my blog, and over at Brohaus Broadcast so you can download the podcast and just take it with you to listen on the go! I hope you guys will listen in because i'm working really hard to make this not only the best it can be but also available to everyone in a plethora of ways. Hope everyone is doing well :)

Cheers
Max

COME FINE ME HERE: http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/maxingrandforks/id455637761

New post in Brohaus Broadcast!

2011-08-08T02:28:00.001-05:00

New post in brohaus broadcast, there is a link in the right column under the twitter feed if you don't know how to get there!! Sorry it took so long but I finally have a legit intro and exit, a logo is quickly on the way so I submitted my first post to the itunes store for consideration it should be on there within the next 48 hours they will email me when. In the mean time when you go to the brohaus page there is a feed in the left bar which allows you to just download the podcast if you just can't wait. I know I can't :)

Are you bulletproof?

2011-08-06T23:48:00.000-05:00

Isn't she gorgeous? Her name is Elly Jackson and she is the face of La Roux, and along with her partner in crime producer Benjamin Langmaid they make some pretty awesome music. I got into them when her song bulletproof come up on my pandora remixed by skrillex but to be honest the best remix of her already awesome song bulletproof is here :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPfX1ZGap-U

And I have to say she is also probably one of the only women to ever make me question my sexuality just because I feel like she is super up my ally. She rarely smiles at

least for pictures which makes the rare snap of her laughing all that more beautiful. She has a very androgynous look which she endorses because it mystifies her look and appeal to a broader range of people. Even her band name la roux is androgynous because it is derived from the french "la russe" and "le roux" the first being the female tense for red head and the later being the male version. She took a component of both male and female and made it her own! I think she is stunning, but I have a soft spot for read heads so I may be a little biased :)

She also doesn't believe in promoting la roux with social networking because she believes it will demystify her and her group which is half the appeal of any group. This is a really interesting opinion seeing as most groups are chomping at the bit to get the least bit of recognition and popularity. On her official site she has no upcoming appearances and she is working on her next album as we...erm...type. She also is probably the only person who makes smoking look cool to me. I know its bad for you and blah blah blah im not gonna smoke them, but she makes it look downright sexy...How can you not agree with these pictures?!?! And her hair? bomb. Bomb all the way round, go la roux.

On another note I finally got my macbook pro today in the mail!!! Three days felt like an eternity waiting but i think thats what makes ordering shit on the internet so much fun in the end isn't it? I got the upgraded processor which I dont regret at all seeing as I will be using this laptop for the next forever until I can afford my own laptop. but it makes it so much easier for me to upload my podcasts and shit so as soon as I have my own music for the intro and exit along with me logo, ill be on apple like its nobodies business. That way you can take this sweet sexy voice where ever you go!

I know the posts or episodes are very long, averaging just shy of 50 minutes but the idea is that you can just throw it on your mobile device of choice and take it with you. When I just embed it on the site I cant imagine a lot of people stay anchored in one place long enough to get through an episode, I know I cant sit through a whole smodcast without doing something. SO hopefully as soon as it becomes mobile people will be more keen to listening in, i'm working with an artist friend of mine to come up with a logo tonight so im quickly approaching podcast-ability! I have tomorrow's episode all cut together and all so I will be posting tomorrow after doing a recording or two. That should be around 5 or 6 in the evening so if your bored on your Sunday nights like I am you should come on in and take a listen. Again the site it brohausbroadcast.blogspot.com I am contemplating getting an independent domain for this blog but I feel it needs to blossom a little more before I invest the time and money. Fingers crossed that happens soon :) Anyways I hope everyone is having an awesome weekend and your all doing well!

Cheers
Max

Space Cadet

2011-08-04T14:04:00.000-05:00

So i'm home sick today which blows the big one because I really could have used a good 8 hour day of work, thats 80 bucks im out because im sick. SO untimely but hey you just play the hand your dealt. But since I have the time I thought i'd talk about some movies and shows i've seen this summer which I really enjoyed.

As some may have figured out, the brohaus broadcast is inspired by Kevin Smiths "Smodcast". A 50 minute podcast he releases every week which I believe is in its third year now and has been quite popular. He is an interesting orator and a funny guy along with his usual sidekick and longtime producer/friend Scott Mosier. These guys just talk about whatever and sometimes they make interesting points and sometimes they just end up sitting around calling eachother gay (if your offended by heterosexual men calling each other gay once in awhile this may not be a program for you) but its

always interesting to get inside the head of someone who brought such classics as Clerks, Mall Rats, Jersey Girl, and Dogma. These are some of my favorite movies not because of how action filled they are but the great amount of thought put into writing them. Kevin may not be the most action filled director known to man but he knows how to write the fuck out of a movie and the dialogue is beyond entertaining. If you haven't seen anything of his I would say check out Dogma or the original Clerks first. These are my favs and really highlight the creative writing smitty uses to intrigue us. Although there usually isnt much gay reference and if it is its sometimes in the pejorative sense, this guy grew up in Jersey in the seventies and eighties, what did you expect?

A series I got to watch before I got kicked out was Battle Star Galactaca. Now I only watched the new series, the one shot in the 2000's but im contemplating finding the original series on dvd. As a total star wars freak this series intrigued me to no end because of its emotional depth. I have since been preaching the way of BSG as it is nicknamed. The series follows the survivors of a horrible human Holocaust brought on by the very machines they built and programmed. This isn't just some science

experiment gone wrong story line though, these machines have fought wars for them, and as they say in the series "It has all happened before, and it will happen again". Now I don't cry when I watch movies, it is very hard to get me teared up, but this series is so well written, shot, and produced that I couldn't help but cry a few times throughout the series. The comic heart, romance, and difficult decisions posed by the series make it a very three dimensional series with depth and character of all sorts. They have made a true believer of television series out of me, someone who before thought it was a waste of time. If you have any time on your hands check out the first two episode which are shot like movies and are about 2 hours a piece if im not mistaken. You will NOT regret your decision to do so.

But after such a series what could even pale in comparison? I was actually really bummed when BSG was over because I didnt think anything would entertain me for a long time but I found a little series called Firefly on netflix and watched it, boy was I pleased.

A series I can only describe as Cowboy bebop in space is the remedy to bland television and a bored mind. Although the series only lasted 14 episodes before being canceled, this ten year old show still holds to be one of my favorites. It is the story of a merchant captain who does everything and anything he can do to survive a post civil war universe, a civil war he chose the wrong side of. Joined by his war buddies and companions hes picked up along the way we watch as the encounter everything from a warped bureaucratic empire bent on creating a superweapon out of a girl, to crazed cannibalistic humans living at the edge of our very universe. You have got to check firefly out, and some of the episodes are available for free on hulu but to get the best experience check it out on dvd or on netflix, a series is always best from the beginning.

I hope you guys check one of these out because I think they will be coming up not only in Brohaus broadcast but here in my normal blog too. I just picked up a graphic novel which expands on the BSG universe and its so cool to see people out there who appreciate something as much as you do. I also hop you guys will check out my last post in this blog and Brohaus broadcast as I edit and prepare the next upload for Sunday night! This ones going to be a good one :)

Cheers
Max

With some regularity, but not like poo...

2011-08-03T18:30:00.000-05:00

See? I said I would be posting more regularly and here I am! Day too of something called accountability!! My word is good i promise!! But lets nto over do it, ill be posting regularly but not every day because, lets face it, nobody's life is that interesting...

But I have gotten some shit done in the last day since I posted, I managed to have enough money to purchase my new laptop!! The opportunity presented itself and I took it, a refurb macbook pro 2011 release with an upgraded i7 processor? Hell to the yes, and just in time because my Msi can't really handle all of this editing software. And also, for the first time in my LIFE, I will have microsoft office on my computer and not some school computer or sample I have to delete and renew when it tuns out haha I feel so techy!

I worked a long ass shift today from 7am to 3:30pm so im kind of bushed, especially for having gone to bed at 12:30 last night. Its not that I was skrewing around on the comp or anything its that I was super stressed about this laptop thing and I cant fall asleep if im stressing, my mind is whirling about shit and i just lay there half asleep for hours. Because as happy as I am that I got this laptop, the chance to get it came at a bad time now that i know how much i need for school, books, rent, bills, and a damned speeding ticket I got. And the ticket was doubled because I didnt have my seatbelt on!! And im a seatbelt anzi I always wear it I just took it off when I went for my wallet so i'm debating fighting it but im still going to have to pay a lot either way. Basically I have only a few weeks to make about 1200 bucks and I have no idea how im going to do it. I may have to sell my beloved violin seeing as I have only been taking lessons for two years and im never going to sell my trumpet. I have my hard drive for sale already but it will probably only fetch about 50 bucks. That plus the two weeks of work I have left I'm going to be at about a third of that so if you guys have any ideas how to earn some cash (besides a lemonade stand...) leave it in the comments below it would be greatly appreciated!!!

Alright thats all I've got right now, im going to put a twitter feed in the sidebar so you can see updates on my other blogs and to microblog a lil. That and please check out brohaus blog!! There is a new post coming out this sunday probably from my new laptop, and this post is a lot more interesting believe me. Hope you tune in and I hoep your all well :)

Max

Another post in time

2011-08-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

Well with brohaus broadcast off and doing its own thing i'm glad to be back to normal blogging. I have really missed it and a lot of things have happened this summer, a lot of fights, bro-dum, and general life learning and growing. I'm going to kind of go by month and we'll see where we end up.

June:
My birth month and a month I spent entirely trying to find a new job whilst living at jerry's and my grandparents. I was working for my dad but if you relationship wasnt already strained it was while I was working with him. We still dont see eye to eye on everything but hes my dad and I guess I just have to respect that. I got a friggin awesome new bike at a garage sale for 35 BUCKS!!! its a nice triathlon bike so it is made out of lightweight aluminum unlike my old bike, came with triathlon rails which are these goof bars to rest your arms on after swimming 90 miles or how ever far they do it in. I have ridden it a few times but with this unbelieveable heat wave which has lasted bout a month i havent gotten a ton of usage out of it, college will break that in haha. I have done very little partying this summer because of my living situation but if you listen to brohaus broadcast you can learn about what little I did do :) My birthday fell on fathrs day this year which was kind of lame because then I have to do everything my dad wants, so we went to a car show and a knights of columbus picnic. What a blast...

July:
I finally got a job midway through this month at a catering company not far from my grandparents, incidentally I moved back in with my parents as well so I guess location isnt everything! I dont get a ton of hours there and when i do they are super early so I still have my whole day, kind of leaves me feeling like i didnt do anything even though I worked... Still no boys mostly because im not out to the most important people, my family. I keep reading about peoples coming outs and how it was so stupid for them to wait so long to tell their parents but everybodys situation is different, and i think im handling mine just fine. Although I watched a few gay documentaries on netflix and my mom found them, i think she knows but to be honest I dont really care. If they find out I wont sweat it i'll just keep living my life. This summer I have learned I can stand on my own even through some of the worst economic times because there is a wonderful net of people more than willing to take me in. I have received so much from everyone including my online followers and i'm so thankful for it, I will pay it forward in the future and help those whom I can. Its really neat to see the world, even when it shits on you, help pick you up and dust you off.

Its only the second of August but I feel like I still have my whole summer in front of me still. I still have so much to do in the time I have left and only raw determination to motivate myself. I have bills to pay, rent to get, a mac to purchase, and hopefully more people yet to meet. School starts the 23rd so I have three weeks until im back at school back to my grind, which in of itself is a whole new experience every year in a new house. I really hope all of you will continue to follow my life and times. I hope you'll check out brohaus broadcast because I pour so much into every broadcast in order to just have everything out there, to live by my word both written and spoken. I am also going to start being more involved in other people blogs, more following and commenting just because right now I am only following one or two blogs rigorously and they are more artsy and less content filled. If you have any reccomendations feel free to drop a comment or send me an email @ maxingrandforks@gmail.com.

I hope your all well and I wish to learn a little more about you guys every day

Max

First vLog Cast

2011-08-02T00:48:00.000-05:00

Finally! My monstrous creation is complete! The first post is available and here is a link the brohaus broadcast blogspot area http://brohausbroadcast.blogspot.com/

Please please check it out and I hope you enjoy hearing my voice and learning a little about me and my friend Jerry.

In a more traditional blogging sense, im back and im going to be going strong. Hopefully doing one of these every week but we'll see with work and stuff. I am at home and "happy" (whatever the hell that means) and of course as broke as ever. Been working at my catering job and tomorrow I get my first paycheck!...which will go entirely to rent. But hey, welcome to being an adult me. I am still bartering with my parents about this damned laptop but as soon as I get it ill be able to blog in stye and not worry about my windows comp exploding at every turn. And the world will praise its coming.

I'm getting ready to head back up to school and resume more consistent and rigorous blogging, mostly because I have a life up there. That and i get laid up there but that is a whole different issue all together haha. I am trying to convince my parents to also let me get a new mattress, this I feel is a bit more necessary because my twin which i dont fit in, is destroying my back. but more on that when the time comes...

Hope everyone is well!

Max

New blog for BROHAUS BROADCAST

2011-07-28T23:13:00.000-05:00

Please jump over and start following to get updates and keep up with you new favorite podcast/vLog!!!

http://brohausbroadcast.blogspot.com/

Hope to see you over there...but if you keep reading here thats cool too.

-max

podcast/vLog on the way!!

2011-07-27T14:36:00.000-05:00

I start recording tomorrow night so I hope to have the first post up on sunday night. The vLog will be available on blogger as a mp3 so you can just listen to it or if you are on the go or just want to listen to it while your away from the comp it will be available as a podcast as well. Everything is free of course but if you did want to donate that would be super because I still have to: buy better software to edit with, pay for an intro song and possibly pay for a logo to be drafted, get a new comp which can handle all this better, and eventually get two microphones instead of one and some noise canceling headphones so both people can listen to their voice and enhance the quality of the recording. All very premature I know, but the sooner I get this stuff the more legit this podcast/vLog will be. I'm currently using a Blue Snowflake microphone which most definitely does the job but it would be better if I had two and I dont have the software to handle that quite yet.

Our first guest is going to be a long time friend of mine I havent talked about much in my blog. He is part of a band and going to school in the cities and has been and forever will be a huge influence on my life. His name is Matt Allen and you'd be silly to miss this post because its the beginning of a new chapter of this blog!!

And again I wont stop posting here or doing what I do normally (which has been minimal as of late...) so keep reading for the more intimate and persona information I will be posting about on this blog :)

Oh! And the name? Brohaus Broadcast :) I think it has a good ring to it. If you would like to be alerted about new posts or would like to email me directly I have a gmail posted on my profile page you can email me at at any time. And if you would like to donate contact me there and we can take care of that as well. If you want to follow me on twitter for updates and notifications email me and ill give you my twitter tag :)

Hope all is well
Max

Podcast/ vLog titles

2011-07-24T15:26:00.000-05:00

I'm tryign to come up with something to call this shindig, how about a vote! Comment with your favorite listed or list a new one you think would work!

-BlogBrah
-BlahBlahBlog
-Brohaus Blog
-The Shit We Talk About

I'm having trouble thinking of more so let me know via comment or via email listed on my profile!! And just to be clear this will be a separate thing from my blog, it will be a new blog devoted only to that with links posted here and via twitter (so my account came in handy afterall...) so I will still be doing my more personal blog and talking about it through my voice blog while discussing other things too like pop culture, movies, and just random shit. I think this will be good to put a voice to the text which you guys read on a regular basis, that way if you read at work you still can but you can also listen in and just surf the net while you listen. I'm going to look into how much it is to make a podcast and maybe look for donations through the site so people can just put it onto their devices and listen in too.

Alright, 'nough of this crap for now! Post you favorite name in the comments and prepare for a new wave of blogging, the voice way :)

Too Hot

2011-07-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

I will be back soon! What do you guys think about transforming this blog into a voice blog which may also be available as a podcast? Leave a comment and tell me if you would still follow!! I would be doing daily posts in script as well, but maybe a once a week voice blog thingy? sounds cool to me, lemme know my good friends :)

Max

I'm alive I promise

2011-06-14T20:03:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, yes im living there just isnt much going on. Im still at grandmas so i get internet oh so rarely. im at jerrys again and we are going to watch all the trueblood before the season premiere on the 26th. I'm psyched because this sunday is my birthday!! i'll be 20 :)

I'm working a lot with both my dad and at the carwash, putting away enough for next year and for rent this summer. Made almost 500 bucks which isnt much but allows me to have a little nest egg of safety so i can relax and maybe buy something for myself before the end of the summer haha

No boys :(

And I hope your all doing well, i dont have much time for friends so im gonna chill with them while i can

Cheers
Max

A brief interlude

2011-05-29T16:56:00.000-05:00

Well grandma's is a lot of fun, I have found work but your not going to believe where. I am working for my dad at one of his rental houses until I can find a real job. I'm making decent money, 10 bucks an hour under the tale so there is no taxes. He offered me the job when we went out to dinner the other night, we talked through a lot of things. He apologized and said he over reacted and we had a good laugh about how at each others throats we were. He asked me to come home but I turned him down. My grand parents are almost 90 and need someone around, even if they are working eight hour days and such. This way I can help out my grandparents and still get along with my parents. I find it much easier for us to deal with each other when we arent constantly around each other.

At first I was afraid this job my dad offered me would be kind of a hand out to repay me for being kicked out of the house, thankfully it is not because he has me working my ass off to earn this money. I can't stand to take any other hand outs, I received a VERY generous donation earlier last week which I took because of my situation, now that I can work and make some money I couldn't stand to take any more. This may all come off very prideful, which from an angle it is, but this is more for my self esteem. I need to learn to take care of myself in the world and sustain my own finances. If I keep running my mouth and getting into trouble only to get bailed out, ill never learn. Then again if I can stand back and realize this maybe I have learned my lesson.

Again I want to thank you for your generous donation, you know who you are. It has helped me so much already with rent and gas to get to work. Now that I have gotten on my feet a bit I will save the remaining bit to put towards my tuition next semester which is entirely on me. There is no words to explain how much I appreciate it and will pay this forward throughout my life, people with good hearts are out there and you proved that to me. I want to be one of those people now too. Thank you.

Besides work and grandparents I havent had much time for anything these days. I get a lot of reading done at my grandparents because they have neither tv nor internet. I am at my buddy Jerry's right now and using the internet for the first time in awhile and I miss it dearly. I can keep up my facebook and emails on my iphone but there still isnt an app which lets me use blogger well so I can only check not post. I miss being able to have my dialog with you guys, and I hope you see I now have a blogger email so if you want to get ahold of me in private feel free to drop me a line. I hope to hear from you guys soon!!

P.S.- I have couple formspring questions but i'm going to wait till I have a couple more in order to post about it. So if you have any questions at all drop em in there and ill respond in a post soon!

Cheers
Max

Fishing in an empty pool

2011-05-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

I have been spending ever day applying at place after place, I have memorized my recommendations phone numbers for when they ask, and have made about 12 calls already today and its noon. Nothing. Even at shity retail and at big establishments they are either not hiring or not hiring me. Since last week I have started fibbing on my applications saying ill be home for much longer than the summer, that im transferring down to the U in order to get a better degree. Even this is not yielding any results and I really dont know why. I know this kind of rejection shouldnt get to me but after this much it makes you ask "whats wrong with me"? I know it isnt me its the economy but its very deterring to here no over and over. Total bs if you ask me because im one of those hard working honest college kids which work their asses off while most try and find a dumb job to just sit there and not do much work. The thing I have working against me here is that im in ND for most of the year so I dont have the connections or time down here to find a job and keep it. It blows.

On the other hand I have experienced some of the most unwarranted and angelic charity from people. A follower of the blog has offered to send me some money and as much as it pains me to swallow my pride, im in no position to reject such a kind offer. I have rent coming up and I used the last little bit of cash I had to make my credit card payment. You know who you are and I truly cannot thank you enough.

Jerry has been putting me up thus far and I am moving into my grandparents today. They were happy to have me since they dont see me that much to begin with and they are getting pretty old so the could use someone around to kind of keep an eye on them. They are getting to the age where maybe a home would be a good idea but there hasnt been an incident to initiate that process. My uncle mike lives with them still (yes its exactly what you think) but he works a ton to afford to go to taiwan and other asian countries for his photography so he isnt home a lot. I will be working a lot but his hours are usually night and mine are during the day so we can kind of tag team take care of my grand parents. The down side of this move is tht they have no internet :/ So until I have a little spending money I wont be able to do a ton of blogging. I can post from my iphone but its a huge pain so it wont happen a lot. I have set up a blogger email for myself so if you wanna drop a line and say Hi please do! I love talking to my readers besides comment, it allows them to be more open because its not pinned up for everyone to see.

I am having dinner with my dad in a few days, I wanna talk through why he kicked me out but to be honest I dont wanna go back if we get along at dinner. He kicked me out in the first place which is pretty nasty, the constraints he has for me and the high bar he set for me to achieve in school and financially are so unreal and demanding. And with this high bar he doent see that it stresses me out and is slowly driving me into the ground. I'm working too hard for his approval and in the end im the only one who I can count on. Its a tough realization to come to but you are the only person you can count on 100% of the time.

Hope everybody is doing well!
Cheers
Max

Survival

2011-05-21T21:33:00.000-05:00

Well I am currently squatting at my friend jerry's house, gonna probably move to my grandparents sometime next week. My dad apologized for being over the top but hasnt asked me back and im not going to ask. I feel it is way better for me to be away fro this hostile environment. That being said, im pretty much broke. I have been applying everywhere under the sun but as soon as they hear I am only going to be home for the summer they say they arent looking for anyone with my qualifications. Its frustrating places wont hire a college student over the summer, I understand it costs them money to hire and let people go but I feel some more mom and pop places could be a little more sympathetic to out plight. I have gotten one bite at a nearby best buy and im hoping tomorrow when I call in to HR that they are willing to set up an interview. If not im going to be boned, I have just enough to cover my rent up north for next month but I have been eating a watermelon I stole from my parents before I left for three days and it is almost gone. Jerry has been nice and shared thing (food, soap, laundry detergent) with me but I cant keep taking advantage of him, i have told him this and he has said not to worry about it but its not fair for him to feed me while my parents stand idly by. I have to get a job and find a more permanent place to stay otherwise im going to have to go back up to grand forks and try and find work there. It will kill me to leave my friends and family (at least the ones who care) but when push comes to shove- I need to survive.

Hope your all doing well!
Max

well I guess things are going to change around here

2011-05-19T00:14:00.000-05:00

Well my parents have lost it, I know it is my pride clashing with theirs but ill be moving out of my parents. More specifically they set an ultimatum and im not going to degrade myself anymore. Im not going to go into all the little piddly shit which has culminated in this moment but essentially I have been home for three days and I am no longer welcome home. I must transfer the title on my truck and pick up the insurance, im good on my phone through july but starting August im on my own, they also will not be helping me to pay for rent or anything like that this summer. We'll see if we can work something out for the school year when it comes but until then I think its going to be very low contact.

I can swallow my pride and I have before, but there is a line where it isnt swallowing your pride but instead loosing self respect. I have no doubt my pride is numbing me to the incredible amount of work ahead of me. I have to keep a certain amount of self confidence in order to be a functioning young adult and I'm embarking into the adult world with my education right now and could use the support but it isnt necessary. It'll work for me without them, its just going to be a long and hard road. I have 400 dollars to my name and good people around me I will survive this summer, but I wait for the day at the end of my summer where I hug my parents and say "Thank you for making me a stronger person, now go fuck yourselves".

Your life could be harder than mine, or it could be more easy but im not fishing for self pity, im just chronicling the beginning of this my most arduous summer where my character will be tested and my will measured. Im gonna do a lot of growing and you'll have a front row seat, lets do this thing.

Cheers
Max

Summer sun and flowering fields

2011-05-18T13:45:00.000-05:00

I feel like i'm in some crazy day dream, flowering fields where I can run around and just enjoy the beautiful weather and aromatic flowers...at least until my dad yells at me to go get a f*c%ing job and stop laying in the yard. In the few days I have been home I have slept at home oly once because my parents are pretty annoying. I undertand I need a summer job, but highschool kids dont get out of school for another three weeks and I hve been doing school/work straight for the past two years! I have had 6 weeks off in the past two years and these were breaks I got to go home and work through usually.

My parents are claiming to be in a financial bid, which no doubt they are with a sick kid and another going through college. What baffles me is where the money is going. I pay for all of my own tuition, half of my rent, books, and any other non-essential expenses. I also had about 3k stashed away from money I had worked for and saved over the last two year, so I was feeling kind of financially secure for the first time in a long time. I get home and there is 200 dollars left in my envelope in the cabinet (wanna get more aide money so toss all my savings as cash into an envelope). Where did all my money go? I had the 3k at the beginning of last semester only four and a half months ago, thats only 1200 in rent, then tuition with aide is only 600 bucks. I put the deposit down on a new place thats 430, and I have been paying bills lets say thats 100 bucks a month (which is real high). That leaves me with a total expense of 2680, where is my other 700 bucks? 500 just went missing and every time I ask my dad to sit down with me and figure it out he shuts down and says he doesnt wanna talk about it. hes been shutting me down for about 3 days now and its pissing me off.

In other news I am applying all over the place in order to get a summer job, i have applied at all the local targets, best buys, the science museum, and local grocery stores. If I dont get a call back from somewhere by the end of the week, then monday I'm gonna call em all and ask if they have seen my application and ask the managers for an interview. Beyond that not a lot going on, just been manhunting to maybe find a boy, and partying with boys. really needed a little break I was getting reaaaaaaaaaaal dull.

Cheers
Max

Home sweet home

2011-05-16T11:49:00.000-05:00

Well i'm back in the cities for my first summer home in TWO years. So excited to be near my friends and to be able to have something to do over the summer besides work :) It also opens the door to a whole bunch more guys, which is good because grand forks has few gays and most of them are CRAZY. Got home bout 8:15 last night and my dad was laying into my by 9. Spent my first night home at jerry's haha so good start huh? i'm still super busy with finding job, the international trumpet guild convention is next week so I have to get ready for that, and the responsibility of being my parents bitch because i live at home. I have two siblings but somehow im in charge of dishes and mowing the lawn. ick

Gonna be having a crazy summer, im excited where this blog is going and its fun to write but it'd be cool if you left a comment with some sort of suggestion or critique. Always appreciate the input!

Cheers!
Max

Finals

2011-05-09T00:03:00.000-05:00

Sweet jesus I have two finals tomorrow and i'm just now getting down to studying (6:30 my time)!!! I'm a terrible student!! However, it is for calc, which i'm not too worried about, and chem which im not to confident i'm gonna pass. Not a great semester for me but I hopefully have five credits worth of A's coming from my band, trumpet choir, and honors drugs and addiction. And also B's from my other classes if i do well on the finals. All in all a fun semester but too many distractions, i should have been studying way more and going to class more which hurt me a lot and I have nobody to blame but myself. I need to be more on top of my classes in the future.

Had or "springfest" up here at und this past weekend and i was trashed most of the day, fell asleep outside ons someone for a good two hours before moving inside to my bed. Cant wait for finals to be over, not to party, but to just have one of the many weights lifted off of my chest. Happy mothers day to all the mothers out there, my mom called me but i was planning on calling her between subjects i have been studying. Went to the library for a solid 5-6 hours today and just did calc which i'm feeling a lot better about now.

Just wanna be done and on my way to summer, ya dig?

Cheers
Max

siiiiiiiiiiiiick

2011-05-02T11:59:00.000-05:00

Well what evr this bug is its some sort of super bug because im still not feeling well, especially in the morning. every morning last week I was been so very close to not going to class because I feel like garbage. Still do. Got an appointment at the local school clinic at three so hopefully they will have some meds for me and not just dismiss it. I know i have cold like symptoms but they are persisting quite lengthly and i ache so badly everywhere that i have been on a NSAID binge for the last couple weeks, my tummy and liver cant be very happy about that.

My love life is still dried up, shriveled and lame. i'm sure if i was feeling better i could hit up jamie for some slap and tickle, and with finals coming up ill need that release, i just wanna feel better!!!! I have had kind of a strange problem since getting sick, usually I can masturbate no problem when I'm sick, it help boost my immune system and is just a fun thing to do when you have all this sick time on your hands. But this time around I can't climax, at least not very easily. I guess i just feel off and in my ill delirium im afraid it will continue after im better. Which would suck because its hard enough for me to get off already!! What ever I cant even think about that right now, i have two exams and a research paper this week, and four exams next week.

Gonna be a nuts couple of weeks but ill be free afterwards!!!

Hope everyone is doing well and having better luck than I am right now :)

Cheers
max

Easter and such

2011-04-28T12:30:00.000-05:00

Well im back from break and back into my groove despite being sick as hell for the last few days. Cough, fever, chills, and flem of all colors. one thing which doesnt discriminate? bacteria. Yuck.

Been getting back into school just in time for finals coming up here, and i will be mia during that time in order to study. I have a evolution, chemistry, calculus, honors, and psych finals; none of which will be very easy at all. to be honest im just a little excited to get them done and out of the way, that way i can move into my new place and go home to the international trumpet guild meeting and find a job. This summer will be hard work but significantly less stress. im alright with the prospect of sitting around at a desk or stocking shelves for a pittance as long as i get time to myself with my friends. Hell, you may walk past me and never know you saw me, and thats just the way i want it. Itll be my time.

Easter was alright, nothing eventful to report besides the usual familial arguments and awkwardness. Also i left all of my easter candy in my truck the day after and it ALL melted. so no candy for me but hey, maybe thats a good thing since I could stand to loose a few pounds! Been biking more and staying active now that the weather has changed and the sun is bright on my face.

Lastly, did anybody see the latest episode of glee? fuckin loved it! so much. i wanna watch it again. And get kurts shirt that said "I like boys" so funny.

Cheers
Max

ill

2011-04-27T16:02:00.001-05:00

Been sick as balls for about a week, will post about easter and all that jazz soon. Look forward to some shenanigans, patrick drama (again), and melty chocolate ;)

Che-(Cough cough cough)-ers
Max

the road just keeps on going

2011-04-19T11:21:00.000-05:00

SO Jordan was a total bust and I managed to hurt myself in the process. I say "hurt myself" because as some of you know, I over hyped the shit outta him. He came into the whole texting thing saying he was in fact looking for a long term relationship but as it ended his excuse was "im not looking for the distraction of a bf right now". Well fuck, guess that means he doesnt have his mind together does he? I know its because of the picture of me without a shirt on I sent him. I have half a mind to post said picture up here. Why? To show that im not embarrassed of my body, not to be confused with not being proud of my body. I'm not by any mens proud of the shape im in. I always gain weight over the winter and drop a ton during the summer, this year has been especially bad because im in school and im on my ass so much for studying and classes. The snow is nearing gone and I have my bike all prepped and ready to go.

We talked on facebook very briefly before "goodbye forever time". he just doesnt want the stress or distraction of a bf, which translates to "not your fat ass, sorry". Then he deleted me as a friend from facebook. Nice. Usually I rebound quite well from things like this, but for some reason I thought this was going to be different, i was back on the pony after patrick looking for an actual relationship and this is what I get. yeesh

I dont want you guys to think im feeling bad for myself or looking for pity here AT ALL. That is far outside my character and people who fish for attention and pity really annoy me. I am who and what i am, a product of my decisions and opinions, and what I put into my body is all up to me. I cook ahead and make healthy decisions but in the end i overeat just sitting around and studying. I do need to work out more but to be honest finding time and motivation is hard. I'm not even sure if I want to go looking for a relationship in Grand Forks anymore, I believe I truly've found the bulk of the gays in my age range up here and they arent interested. Maybe ill find something over the summer but right now im not too hopeful, i need to keep my expectations a lot lower due to my tendency to hype things up in my mind and expect too much of people.

A new way for me to deal with the anger, I wrote a poem. Very outside my usual methods of dealing but the honors department here posts a once a year booklet of poems and art and it inspired me.

A Rejected Flesh Finale

A crash and they're off
climbing, soaring, strumming
the mind wanders so quickly

The elegant, sorrowful cadenza
lighter than air texture
above an aggravated bed of strings
falling like the heart

and they judge
they gasp and exasperate
"Oh! How queer..."

Yes, Queer indeed
but they dont know
they'll never know...

The bloated flesh
hiding pearls of sound
a queer instrument
a shadow of faith

Here! The Overture!
Let it sing
a harp of heart strings
Oh, How it Soars!

In eternity, Love
it may exist, but to dream
to accept
that is human

May the two intertwine
or let the water be my demise

Tchaikovsky was gay you know. and a baller. Hope your all doing well.

Cheers
Max

its like a horrible death boomerang or something

2011-04-14T11:53:00.000-05:00

SO here I find myself again, with more questions than answers and large tub of self loathing next to me. Sent jordan a picture of me with my shirt off after my shower, he did the same a day or two ago. And I knew as my finger hovered above the send button, this was make it or break it. He would either be alright with it or just shut off. It has happened before, and probably will again. I'm not thin, im fat. I have a gut. I have dieted all my life but there is not a lot i can do to it, no dents to be made. i have come to terms with it but in this fucked up american society we live in if you arent A FUCKING POLE YOU'RE DIRT.

He sent back a text about 20 minutes later saying his grandpa is in the hospital and he wont be making it up this weekend. A part of me wants to stay naive and think "yeah maybe he'll be up after easter". but then reality barges in like the villan on star trek, just FUCKING THINGS UP. "No, he doesnt want to see your fat ass, he has better guys to look for, kids just as smart as you but with a body to match. Got eat a cookie you fat bastard, its alone time."

I'm sick. Sick to my stomach just thinking about my body, about the life I could have if i wasnt wearing this fat suit of an extra 40+ pounds. I could be the fun fit guy everyone wants to be around, but im not. Im weak, helpless and lazy. bout all im good for is the random hookup. A fucking sex item some guy can use to bust a nut and feel better about himself.

and it will happen again and again. Like some fucked up horrible death boomerang or something.

Che...fuck it.
Max

evening delight?

2011-04-12T10:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day here in the Forks, got up into the 60's!! Which is nuts seeing how there was a foot of snow on the ground no longer than a week ago. I sat outside reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeanette Walls. Great book to break away from all my textbooks to, bout a family with very eccentric parents, the mother is an artist who may be bipolar and a alcoholic father. End is great but im not going to ruin it :)

I feel like kind of a whore because I keep meeting these guys online but none of them have really gone anywhere, but I have a very promising new one! This ones name is Jordan and he goes to school down in moorhead. Hes hot, tall, plays trumpet like me, a pretty cool level headed individual. Hes been texting me all morning even as i write this post :D Weirdly I think one of my favorite things about this guy is when he smiles he gets all squinty just like me, something very arbitrary but so adorable haha

Oh, and I hooked up with Jamie yesterday too. See how I might feel just a little whorish? lol Its been almost a month since either of us hooked up (we were each others last lay). Hes been working on a big project for law school and needed to blow off some steam and I was happy to oblige haha. He really wanted head so I was sucking that gorgeous uncut cock of his for at least 20 minutes. Im not trying to toot my own horn but i am starting to get pretty good at it, although I still cant deepthroat much at all. Plus hes so big I feel like i'd choke either way haha I blew him to completion and he blew a HUGE load all over my mouth, writhing with Ecstasy and arching his back thrusting his thick cock into my throat while it pulsed warm cum into my mouth.

We cuddled for about 10 minutes and I look down and hes already ready for round two! Which was good because lord knew I needed to get off. I went down on him again a lil and we made out and he rolled on top of me. Now Jamie is a little thinner than I but i'm quite a bit stronger so i pulled him up so his thick uncut cock was teasing my ass. We made out and he threw on a condom and slowly pushed in. I grabbed his ass and pushed him all the way in. I'm not one of those guys you need to spend 15 minutes getting into, I actually want to be fucked haha. And i'm by no means loose, jamie said im always too tight to push in like i like him too but I do it anyways. We made out and fucked for what felt like an eternity until I blew what i'm going to regard as my largest load yet. I hit the headboard and the wall behind it lol, then Jamie was ready immediately after I was done and absolutely sprayed me for the second time that night. This guy is a real stud for the amount of juices he can get rolling.

We jumped in the shower together and made out and junk, normal foreplay we so aptly moved to after the sex haha but it was fun and now im very relieved. been too long. He drove me home and I had to do my mini walk of shame because the guys know what I mean when im going to a friends house now. Since I showered I just went out to the bonfire in the backyard and some people were acting like they were afraid to touch me, like I was some dirty used condom or something. I know they have sex too and i dont treat them like that but whatever, i was in a good mood and wasnt going to let some ignorant shit get me down. Hung out at the fire and then went inside and finished my book, all together an pretty good night :)

Hope you guys are doing well!
Cheers
Max

weekend warrior!!!!!!!!

2011-04-10T14:11:00.000-05:00

Well this weekend has been a spectacular bust compared to last weekend. Still didnt get much feedback on changing room etiquette!! But im assuming unless your at something like an all gay gym or something, it probs wouldnt be okay.

This week has been nutso busy with an exam on wednesday so i was swamped mon-wed. Got an 80 on my multiple choice portion which is the hardest so thats good! my essays always bring me up. I also interviewed and got a lab job for next year!!! its a neat project, how selenium affects zebrafish brains. Its a good into to lab work since I havent done any yet, and its for credit!! I will be working with one of my favorite professors and she also offered me another project once the zebrafish project is done, one of the first epigenetic lab trials in the state!! I'm super pumped about this one because I will get to work in the field I am hoping to get into. The fact that my professor is willing to give me the project is awesome, its a lot of PCR but what isn't in genetics?

This weekend has been kind of a bust thought just because of the goings ons in the house and the stress I have about moving out. True, i am excited to get the hell out of 409 but this will also be a big lifestyle change because ill be living with girls and doing a LOT more studying. These are not bad things at all but it does mean I am going to have to adapt a wee bit. Be more clean, more quiet hours for studying, and less partying (a definite good thing). but getting the two last people for the lease and getting everything sorted with bills and rent is going to be a pain in the ass until its done. oh well, se la vie.

Last night was a bit nuts, i was hinging with my fruit fly Tina (explanation of the nickname forthcoming) and we had a fun night of doing some errand running and shopping. I complained the pores on my nose and chin are way too big and sometimes get blackheads so we went to target and got a mask. Went back to her place, put on our sea enzyme cleansing masks, and played some monopoly deal. If you and one or two friends are bored and want to play a cut throat card game, this is you best bet. So fun and so ruthless i love it some much and Tina is a monopoly nut so of course she loved it too. Tina took me home about 11.30 and i come home to a huge raging party, even as I walk in about eight people I have never seen before walks in along with me. I go down to the basement and see reese and jack, the only other tenants in the house. I just let them know they need to keep this party in check because im not drinking and going to go do some work before bed. They agreed and i went to take a shower. As im in the shower people keep knocking on the door, i assumed it was because they wanted to puke or go to the bathroom. Finally as I get out of the shower i realize the music is off. Shit

Cops

So i have to dry off extra fast while they are still outside. As i leave the bathroom everyone is huddled around the door waiting for me like i am so messiah. I go upstairs and talk to the cops, they ask me whats going on and i explain I just got home and that i have no idea whats going on i just needed to shower. They tell me to clear out the house and i comply, clearing the place and hiding all the stupid stoners bags as the just drop em and leave. After i ralize im completely alone the cops try to slap me with a 250 dollar city ordinance ticket. I talk em out of it but they give me an ultimatum "We are going to call you on tuesday because we believe that you had nothing to do with this party. But, when we call we want the name of someone who lives here who is responsible for this party." And they leave after taking my name, license number, and phone number.

Now i am left, pissed, confused and alone. Reese and jack definitely were here and were responsible for the party but with reeses history another ticket could mean trouble, an jack refuses to take any blame. And i am the one left to pick. Gonna have to burn a bridge this week, but whos? Fuck me right?

And thats about it, been working hard and very busy but im going to try and do a post before bed, just not a lot of interesting things have been happening lately, didnt want to bore you guys :)

Hope you guys had a better weekend than me!!

Cheers,
Max

Saturday fun

2011-04-02T20:20:00.001-05:00

Had a pretty good day today! first in while :) I worked last night at the museum for an event I have no information about, turned out it was my honors professors conference for regional honors teachers. She was awesome and so much fun to keep happy, she even gave me two bottles of champaign! Which I consumed one of along with a bit of beer last night.

Woke up and grabbed lunch with al and gabert, kevin joined later. After our Chinese we went to the mall to have my glasses fixed (I popped the lens out of one side last night trying to drunkenly clean them). Kevin was a hoot doin silly rolls on the floor and goofing aorund, it was nice to laugh again hahaha hadnt realized how long it had actually been. Got a text from a number I didnt recognize on the way home, turns out i was on manhunt last night and met a new friend! his name is willie and he is actually engaged to his bf of three years+ and plan on being married this summer!! hes a riot as well and its cool to start making gay friends I can relate to.

Once we got home we immediately left for this water park about 40 minutes away, it is indoors and at a casino so alex and gabert had to play a lil black jack. Al lost his 20 but gabert made 35 bucks! then we went to the water park but because it was more expensive than we thought we were just gonna bounce, some other people we came with who drove separately went in anyways. we get a call about 20 minutes later (we decided to fart around in the arcade for a few minutes) that they had found some wristbands floating in the pool! so we got to go swimming and tubing for free, it was so nice to swim, havent gone in a long time.

In the changing room i of course behaved but I accidentally ran into this REALLY hot guy. He was shorter than me (but i mean, who isnt around here. yeesh:/ he had red hair (so hot), a tattoo on his chest of a dragon who's tail swung down and encircled his pierced nipple. He was fit and adorable in the face, I only wish I had had the pluck to say hi or chat him up at all, but seeing how I was half naked at the time it didnt strike me as appropriate in the changing room :/

thoughts on that? Can a guy chat up another guy in the changing room or is it strictly strip dress and get the fuck out of there?

Anyways, my sex life is still as stagnant as ever right now. Still havent had much time to talk to jamie or hook up period. I need to get laid :/

Cheers
Max

I feel so Naked

2011-04-01T11:36:00.000-05:00

Well this morning has just been chalk full of surprises. I awoke to find complete strangers sleeping on our couches. Two dudes who have friends of friends and came here to party last night after I went to bed. Weird. Then im off to chem but im late so i try to text my friend kate to save me a seat, message cant send. Weird. Got home from class, tried to call to have myself taken off the house bills at 409, my account along with the rest of my families are suspended. Weird.

Apparently the last time the bill was paid was FEBRUARY. seriously dad? 6 weeks no payment? And now my phone is off. I hate the feeling of someone needing to get ahold of me but cant because something is wrong with my phone!I feel so naked without my phone!!! we had a huge leak in the basement last night, water coming in the light fixtures, and a plumber is supposed to be coming today. Too bad I dont know when!! BECAUSE MY PHONE IS TURNED OFF!!!

I just find it a little infuriating that I am doing about a million things at once here at college, one of the busiest weeks I have had in a long time, but I still manage to get everything done. My dad on the other hand is on workers comp for a back injury and works 4 hours a day 5 days a week and hasnt been able to find time to pay the cellphone bill? wtf dad seriously, setting a pretty terrible example...

Might be going to a water park tomorrow in thief river falls, but that about the extent of my plans this weekend. Got to study for an evolution exam on wednesday and start writing my research paper for my honors class. I hate how busy the end of the semester gets, im so excited to go home for easter but will be dreading coming back up for finals :/ I hope everyone is having a better morning than me!!

Cheers,
Max

P.S.- Havent really heard from Jamie but at the same time I havent been actively seeking him out just because I have been so busy this week, maybe this weekend i'll be able to get some alone time with him:) I could use a good lay about now

do you have a link exchange for other blogs?

2011-03-31T23:45:00.001-05:00

I dont necessarily have a link exchange but i talk up blogs I really enjoy, but it seems everyone is going on hiatus right now...kinda blows. If you want me to check out your blog I always check out people who follow me's stuff when im added. But leaving a comment with a link is so much easier :) Just lemme know im always looking for new blogs to read!

Ask me anything

Oh the weeks we have!

2011-03-30T20:55:00.000-05:00

Well I have been super busy, I wish you guys could see my planner its practically blacked out with pen. I have been running and typing and testing like nuts and now I can destress a little. I have a meeting next week with a very respectable doctor to try and get a slow in her lab. This would be a huge step into the biology department so i can get into a lab i find interesting. Not to mention it will look bomb on an application.

Just got done with another chem exam, we'll see what happens. I feel ok about it but im almost done with chem FOREVER. Just two more semesters.

Met a new dude online, hot italian dude, we'll see what happens. I guess im just a little precautious because the site is just so shady, but id love to meet him. Hes so very hot and we have a lot of the same interests. ill see if he wants to text cause we have each others numbers but we have just been chatting through manhunt lol

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I got a new place! biggest room too :)cheaper rent and better roommates. IM pretty psyched.

Beyond that, not a whole lot more! hope everyone is doin ok!

Cheers
Max

Formspring

2011-03-24T21:28:00.000-05:00

How is "Gabert"? i.e., "Gaybert"? Does he know about you for sure? Did you ever really tell him how you once felt about him?

Gabert is fine, hes doing his usual thing of being very smart and working hard at school then making a total ass of himself on the weekends getting belligerently drunk and generally being n ass to me. He is the primary reason for me moving out, Al has picked him over me as a closer friend, which i dont blame him at all they have a lot more in common. I just cant stand to be around gabert, he is such a tremendous douche bag to me all the time and I cant wait to be away from him.

Everybody in the house knows about me, I told gabert last year and for a week he didnt believe me, alex had to convince him. And yes, unfortunately, I did tell him how I felt. I widly consider it one of my biggest mistakes in my life telling him how I felt about him. We were drunk and i thought we were close enough friends that i could tell him finally. At that point I was over him but still had that inkling feeling of liking him. He took it well initially, but as we have been living together he has been more and more of a complete ass to me. People even notice that he is always an ass towards me so it isnt just my imagination.

Fact of the matter is, he is either a homophobe, or interested and doing the whole "I dont like you im just picking on you cause its fun". But with how purely malicious he always is when he says shit im putting my money on the first one. I hate living here, and im moving out, thank god. I can only wish one day he stumbles on this blog and understands what kind of strain he has put on my life. I wish him all the luck in his future endeavorer, but he can fuck off.

Like I said, I'll always answer questions so keep em coming
Cheers,
Max

formspring

2011-03-19T22:03:00.001-05:00

It sounds like sex with Jamie is much better than with Patrick. And now that you've had sex with both cut and uncut, which do you like better and why? Do you have a preference?

Sex with jamie is waaaay better than patrick. Patrick was a fun introductory to anal sex but jamie pushes my comfortability and it rocks. I love his thick uncut cock and i am permanently biased towards uncut, it is so fun to play with and tastes better. Plus he is over an inch larger, tons of fun. HE blows multiple large loads and I cant get enough of it!! That friggin rocks and really turns me on. I am actually curious to find a guy with an even bigger cock to see how it feels :) Uncut is just so much fun I wish I still had my foreskin!!! agh

do you wank?
Yes. yesyesyesyes. Masturbation is what gets me through between sex sessions haha. And sex only barely edges out masturbation, cause I have been learning how to edge and blow bigger loads. I'll reiterate that i love cum. Love it, it turns me on so much. I cant eat mine, just freaks me out, but ill eat anybody else's! lol Love the broke straight boys stuff, out in public is good, and i have seancody stuff but they never do facials. Lame

Keep the questions coming!!!!

Cheers
max

Break is almost over!!!

2011-03-18T13:39:00.000-05:00

Well not a whole ton has happened since my last post, but what can I say, i miss you guys. Earlier this week Through yesterday I have just been going to jerrys, chilling and hanging with my buds, enjoying my cigars and whiskey :) yesterday, being st pattys day we actually took it slow compared to last year. Me and jerry went and helped a friend of mine pick out a new laptop and went to chipotle after :) i miss chipotle and there isnt one in grand forks so usually i just dream. ALex and gabert are thinking about scratching together the capital to open a chipotle in grand forks. They think it will flourish and I agree it will at first, but idk how it would do in the long run.

Anyways dealing with gabert wont be an issue next year because I found a new place with way better roommates and cheaper rent. Its about a block farther from campus than i am right now but its worth it to be out of that toxic enviroment. I will really miss Alex and Reese, I was closest with those guys but they way i am right now just isnt healthy, i want to live comfortably. without being shit on and without 80% of the responsibility of the entire house.

Getting back to last night, we didnt drink, some guys came over and smoked pot but didnt partake, I stuck to my hookah and watched some true blood. Today I am off to khols with jerry looking for jeans for hi and an epic adventure. Why? Cause thats how me and Jerry do.

Anyways, been trying to meet some nice guys down here in the cities because once im down here for the summer i will have no gay friends!! I might be interested in a summer boy, someone i could actually connect with since i havent done that since Patrick. Not because im scared but because im moving between different states in order to be on break and work:/ Anyways enough for now, hope everyone had a good st pattys day!!

cheers,
max